Revolutionary Committee Condemns Constitution as Bourgeois Propaganda
PARIS, October 22, 2026 – French Marxists preparing another round of protests have run into an unexpected obstacle to overthrowing capitalism: the French Constitution, a document that somehow escaped their attention during several decades of revolutionary education. According to the October 21 New York Post report, President Emmanuel Macron has been accused of being absent during France’s unrest, despite conducting diplomatic business in the Middle East, while Prime Minister Sébastien Lecornu handles domestic negotiations.
The discovery that France has both a president and a prime minister has reportedly caused considerable confusion among the more doctrinaire members of the revolutionary community, who had assumed that every inconvenience in France, from unemployment to insufficient mustard in a sandwich, was personally administered by Emmanuel Macron.
French Constitution Article 21 Skipped by Marxist Education
Under the Fifth Republic, the president exercises major diplomatic and constitutional responsibilities, while the government, led by the prime minister, directs and implements national policy. The president also keeps considerable influence over domestic affairs.
This arrangement has existed since 1958, giving revolutionary activists roughly 68 years to get acquainted with it.
Unfortunately, the constitution was written before TikTok, which makes it practically inaccessible to modern political scholarship.
A revolutionary spokesman explained that dividing executive responsibility was just another example of capitalism making things needlessly complicated.
“Under socialism, everything would be controlled by one central authority,” he declared. “There would be no confusion about who was responsible.”
Asked whether putting all responsibility in one central authority might cause problems of its own, he replied that the question showed an insufficient understanding of collective liberation.
The spokesman then demanded that Macron personally reduce supermarket prices, repair the Paris Metro, increase university funding, negotiate with trade unions, improve housing conditions, and explain why his local bakery had stopped offering free napkins.
Prime Minister Sébastien Lecornu Discovers Nobody Knows He Exists
Prime Minister Sébastien Lecornu, meanwhile, has been meeting union representatives in an attempt to calm political tensions.
This has reportedly surprised revolutionary organizers, many of whom had believed Lecornu was either a French cheese or a minor character in Les Misérables.
According to the official French Constitution, Articles 20 and 21, the government determines and conducts national policy, and the prime minister directs its actions.
This produced an immediate ideological crisis.
“Are you suggesting we should direct our domestic policy complaints toward the official responsible for directing government policy?” demanded one revolutionary organizer.
“Yes,” replied a constitutional law lecturer.
“That’s exactly the sort of bourgeois trick we have been warning people about.”
The lecturer tried to explain that France runs a semi-presidential system, with significant powers held by both the president and the government.
The revolutionary accused him of complicating a perfectly good slogan with information.
Revolutionaries Demand Simpler Government Before Demanding More Government
France’s radical left has long argued that capitalism produces needless bureaucracy, inefficient management and excessive administrative complexity.
Its proposed solution remains expanding government authority into practically every corner of human existence.
Under a new revolutionary proposal, the state would set wages, prices, housing allocations, energy consumption, transport priorities and industrial production, in what economists call central planning.
Citizens would no longer suffer the indignity of choosing among competing electricity suppliers, because one national office would decide whether electricity was available.
The arrangement would clear up confusion, particularly among citizens who had previously expected the lights to come on when they pressed the switch.
One economic adviser explained that having several organizations supply goods was an inefficient duplication of effort.
“Why should twenty businesses manufacture bread when one government department could decide how much bread everyone deserves?”
Asked what would happen if that department underestimated demand, he said the public would need to become less demanding.
Macron Accused of Working on the Wrong Side of the Planet
Macron’s diplomatic mission to the Gulf included talks on energy security and supply, matters with direct consequences for French households paying higher fuel bills.
For ideological purists, though, geography has become a test of political commitment.
“If he cares about France, why is he abroad?” demanded one protest organizer.
A reporter explained that international negotiations usually require meeting representatives of other countries.
The organizer suggested conducting all foreign policy in Paris instead.
When reminded that foreign leaders also have governments, schedules and national interests, he condemned international diplomacy as an unfortunate consequence of letting other countries exist.
His committee then proposed nationalizing foreign travel, with an exemption for revolutionary conferences in Cuba.
French Constitution Declared Counterrevolutionary
By Wednesday evening, activists had reportedly settled on a new strategy for dealing with the constitutional problem. Instead of reading the document, they would campaign against its existence.
The proposed slogan was: “No Justice Without Constitutional Simplicity.”
Unfortunately, the slogan needed explaining, so organizers commissioned a 94-page pamphlet setting out why everything in France should be considerably less complicated.
The pamphlet would be distributed free, financed by taxpayers, printed by a private contractor, and delivered in vehicles running on imported fuel.
Macron was blamed for all four arrangements.
Political observers noted that the French radical left had managed something remarkable: turning an argument about administrative responsibility into a demand for an entirely new political system without first working out which official runs the existing one.
By Thursday morning, organizers had announced another protest against constitutional complexity.
The demonstration would be held outside the Élysée Palace.
Asked why they weren’t demonstrating outside the prime minister’s office, the organizers said they had already printed the posters.
And under revolutionary socialism, wasting publicly funded posters would be an intolerable abuse of the people’s money.
Five Humorous Observations
- They commissioned a 94-page pamphlet to explain a slogan. If your slogan needs ninety-four pages, it’s not a slogan. It’s a mortgage agreement.
- Sixty-eight years they’ve had to read that constitution. I’ve never read the terms and conditions on my phone, and I’m not trying to overthrow my phone.
- Everybody’s got one guy they blame for everything. In my house it’s whoever left the lid off the jar. In France it’s Macron, and nobody’s ever tried to storm my kitchen.
- Prime minister might be the best job in government. All of the responsibility, none of the screaming. Nobody even knows your name. They thought he was a cheese.
- Les Mis, by the way. Nobody’s read the book. They saw the musical once and cried at a guy singing behind a barricade. That’s the entire revolutionary education.
The revolutionary committee has condemned this disclaimer as bourgeois propaganda. The dialogue, committees and proposals are comic scenarios, not statements by any real protest organisers, and peaceful demonstrations over living costs are a different thing from rioting and looting. More political satire, constitution included.
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