London demonstrates the ancient urban-planning principle that congestion disappears immediately after crossing a borough boundary
LONDON | The Mayor of London’s Oxford Street pedestrianisation programme has achieved something urban planners have pursued for centuries: the ability to make traffic disappear by moving it approximately one street north.
From 26 October, almost a kilometre of Oxford Street between Orchard Street and Great Portland Street is scheduled to become traffic-free during the day. The change forms the first phase of a wider transformation backed by Mayor Sadiq Khan and implemented through Transport for London.
Oxford Street itself should consequently become quieter.
The surrounding streets have presumably requested counselling.
Wigmore Street, Henrietta Place and the Oxford Street Diversion Plan
TfL’s plans require substantial changes around Wigmore Street, Henrietta Place, Great Castle Street and other nearby roads so buses and other traffic can continue moving around the pedestrianised area. Henrietta Place is being converted to two-way operation, bus stops and stands are changing, and several nearby traffic directions are being altered. Traffic orders now cover a long list of side streets, which is a great deal of paperwork for a road that is supposedly being made simpler.
This is known in urban planning as “solving the problem geographically.”
Everyone understands the principle.
Your garage is cluttered.
You move everything into the spare bedroom.
The garage is now magnificent.
A government consultant arrives, photographs it and produces a 74-page report titled Transformational Household Storage Outcomes.
Nobody photographs the spare bedroom.
City Hall vs Westminster City Council: The Oxford Street Political Argument
The political argument around Oxford Street has long involved competing visions of how the West End should function. City Hall argues pedestrianisation can improve safety, shopping and public space. Westminster City Council has raised concerns about the impact on nearby roads and unresolved operational questions.
Both positions have something tangible behind them.
TfL’s own projections anticipate additional traffic on some surrounding routes. Earlier modelling estimated increases on parts of Wigmore Street and Regent Street after buses and vehicles are redirected.
This does not necessarily mean the plan fails.
It means traffic behaves exactly like everyone who has ever been told the pub is closed.
It goes somewhere else.
Where Does Oxford Street Traffic Go? A Thought Experiment
Imagine 300 vehicles approaching Oxford Street.
A barrier appears.
Do they dissolve?
Do drivers abandon their cars and become poets?
Does the Number 98 bus ascend bodily into heaven?
No.
The satnav says:
“Recalculating.”
And Wigmore Street hears boss music.
Congestion vs “Network Impact”: The Vocabulary of London Traffic Management
The remarkable feature of modern traffic management is the vocabulary.
A traffic jam on Oxford Street is congestion.
A traffic jam on a nearby street caused by Oxford Street changes is a “network impact.”
Same brake lights.
Better stationery.
Residents on neighbouring streets may therefore acquire front-row seats to Britain’s most ambitious production of Not Here Anymore.
One can imagine the conversation.
“Good news, Gerald. Oxford Street is traffic-free.”
“Wonderful.”
“There are twelve buses outside.”
“Yes, but they aren’t on Oxford Street.”
“There’s a taxi parked in my begonias.”
“Again, not Oxford Street.”
The Serious Case for Oxford Street Pedestrianisation: Safety and Public Space
The pedestrianised section itself may genuinely become more pleasant. TfL says reducing conflicts between vehicles and pedestrians is expected to improve safety and provide pedestrians with more space. The consultation material notes serious collisions in the area and identifies pedestrian safety as one rationale for removing vehicles. Highways Magazine reports that the second consultation drew around 2,700 responses, with general support the most frequently raised comment.
That is the serious logic beneath the scheme.
The comedy lies in London attempting it.
London Traffic Never Disappears: Roman Carts, Pigeons and Trafalgar Square
London is not a city where traffic goes away.
London traffic possesses tenure.
Roman carts are probably still circling Marble Arch looking for parking.
You cannot eliminate London congestion any more easily than you can eliminate pigeons by pedestrianising Trafalgar Square.
You can merely change which statue they occupy.
Who Gets Instructions? Buses, Taxis, Cyclists, Deliveries and Neighbours
Buses previously running along Oxford Street will have to negotiate new routes. Taxis must approach passengers differently. Cyclists need alternatives. Deliveries are largely restricted to overnight servicing windows.
Every participant therefore receives instructions.
Pedestrians: enjoy the space.
Bus passengers: find the new stop.
Cyclists: use the alternative route.
Taxi passengers: walk a bit.
Delivery drivers: congratulations, you now work at 3:40 a.m.
Nearby residents: have you considered triple glazing?
The British Compromise: Less Traffic on Oxford Street, More Everywhere Else
One cannot help admiring the magnificent British compromise.
Oxford Street gets less traffic.
Neighbouring streets get more traffic.
Everybody receives a consultation.
Nobody receives silence.
And somewhere in a London planning office, a chart shows a beautifully empty Oxford Street beside several arrows pointing outward.
The arrows are technically the entire story.
Humorous Observations on Oxford Street Traffic Displacement
- Westminster worries congestion will move to neighbouring roads, an economic theory previously known as “putting everything in the spare bedroom.”
- Pedestrianisation turns Oxford Street into a plaza while surrounding streets receive the exciting opportunity to become Oxford Street.
- Britain has perfected conservation of congestion: traffic can neither be created nor destroyed, only redirected past somebody else’s flat.
Disclaimer
This satire exaggerates transportation planning, Christmas shopping, London pedestrians, buses, taxis, cyclists, consultants, satnavs and the metaphysical properties of congestion for comic purposes. The underlying Oxford Street dates, boundaries and transport arrangements are grounded in published TfL and City Hall material. This story is entirely a human collaboration between two sentient beings: the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer. No traffic consultant was harmed, although several may have been rerouted.
For authoritative background, see TfL’s Oxford Street area works and travel guidance and Oxford Street delivery and servicing arrangements. For further reporting, see Time Out’s guide to the Oxford Street pedestrianisation.
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