A neighbourhood-by-neighbourhood pub crawl guide covering five London areas with three pubs per route
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat present five neighbourhood pub crawls, each with three stops, because three pubs is a crawl and five pubs is a medical emergency.
Soho Crawl
Start: The French House (49 Dean Street). Small, legendary, no pints, only halves. De Gaulle reputedly drank here in WWII.
Then: The Coach and Horses (29 Greek Street). Former Private Eye haunt, “soho’s most famous pub.”
Finish: The Devonshire (17 Denman Street). Newer addition, Guinness so good it has its own reputation.
After: Chinatown for noodles and life review.
Covent Garden Crawl
Start: The Lamb and Flag (33 Rose Street). Dickens drank here. The back alley was once called “Bucket of Blood Alley.” Calm these days.
Then: The Harp (47 Chandos Place). CAMRA Pub of the Year winner.
Finish: The Porterhouse (21-22 Maiden Lane). Vast, beer hall-style, good range.
After: Trafalgar Square for dramatic late-evening photographs.
City of London Crawl
Start: Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese (145 Fleet Street). Dickens, Yeats, Doyle. Multiple tiny rooms.
Then: The Blackfriar (174 Queen Victoria Street). Art Nouveau interior, 1905, jolly monks everywhere.
Finish: The Counting House (50 Cornhill). Former bank, now a pub, coffered ceiling, rather grand.
After: Bank Tube, clear-headed, good posture.
Hampstead Crawl
Start: The Flask (14 Flask Walk). Post-Heath refuel classic.
Then: Spaniards Inn (Spaniards Road). 1585. Dickens, Byron, Keats all documented.
Finish: The Holly Bush (22 Holly Mount). Hidden up a staircase, 18th century, tiny, perfect.
Warning: This crawl will make you browse Hampstead cottages online the next morning.
Southwark and River Crawl
Start: The George Inn (77 Borough High Street). National Trust, galleried coaching inn.
Then: The Anchor Bankside (34 Park Street). 1615 site, great river views.
Finish: Founders Arms (52 Hopton Street) or Doggett’s (Blackfriars Bridge). Excellent for sunset drifting on the Thames.
Pub Etiquette for Visitors
Order at the bar. Pay on ordering, or run a tab if the pub permits. No tipping is expected, though change left behind for the bartender is appreciated. Rounds are common; it is polite to buy a round for your group if you are four or fewer.
The Humour Interlude
A London pub crawl is the only organised drinking activity where you will, at some point, lose a member of the group who has gone to the toilet, the bar, or “just for some air” and has genuinely vanished into 800 years of street pattern. They will text you later from a different pub. A pub satirist has observed that no group of four has ever successfully completed a London pub crawl without at least one member reappearing with an unexplained companion, an umbrella, and a taxi story.
A proper British pub will have at least one older regular at the bar who will give you a thoughtful opinion on the state of the country if you ask. Listen. Do not argue. Buy them a half. Everyone wins.
Local Wisdom
Most pubs close around 23:00 weekdays, later on Fridays and Saturdays. Cask ale is best in the city’s older pubs. Water is free and legally available.
For pub-crawl satire, see The Daily Mash.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/
Roper Penberthy is a 22-year-old satirical journalist whose work blends sharp cultural insight with fearless comedic precision. Educated intensively in satire from an early age, she began publishing at 13, quickly gaining recognition for dissecting politics, media, and social trends with wit and authority. Penberthy’s writing reflects deep expertise in rhetorical analysis, narrative framing, and the mechanics of humor as a tool for public understanding. Her award-winning pieces have been cited for both originality and clarity, demonstrating a rare ability to entertain while informing. Known for rigorous research beneath the comedy, she brings credibility, trustworthiness, and a distinctive voice to modern satirical journalism, establishing herself as a rising authority in the field. EMAIL [email protected]
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