Spectators admit they came for the champagne and the social climbing
A study of the capital’s most exclusive sporting events has confirmed a long-suspected truth about London polo, that the overwhelming majority of attendees come not for the horses, the skill or the sport, but for the champagne, the hats and the opportunity to be seen by precisely the right people.
London polo: the sport nobody actually watches
At the city’s glamorous polo events, where the great and the good gather in their finest summer attire, observers note that the actual game, a fast and genuinely skilful contest played at thrilling speed, takes place largely unwatched, as the assembled crowd focuses its attention on the bar, the marquee and each other.
A spokesperson for the Bureau of Society Sports, invented for this article, was admirably honest. London polo is a magnificent sport, he said, sipping champagne with his back to the field. Nobody has ever seen any of it. People come to wear a lovely outfit, drink something cold, and be photographed near horses. The polo itself is, frankly, a rumour. A beautiful, expensive rumour.
The deadpan ritual of the divot stamp
The single moment of audience participation, the traditional stamping of the divots at half-time, has become the social highlight of any polo match, an opportunity for guests to wander onto the field, press down some turf, and most importantly, mingle, network and admire one another’s hats.
The dress code, meanwhile, is taken with deadly seriousness, with the choice of outfit, the size of the hat and the elegance of the ensemble considered far more important than any understanding of the rules of the game, which almost no spectator has ever bothered to learn.
Why London polo is genuinely impressive
Despite the social circus, polo is a genuinely extraordinary sport, requiring immense skill, athleticism and a remarkable partnership between rider and horse, played at a speed and intensity that deserves far more attention than the champagne-sipping crowds typically give it.
The genuine sport of polo in Britain is governed by the Hurlingham Polo Association, which oversees the rules and development of the game across the country. The welfare of the horses, central to the sport, is a matter taken seriously by equestrian and animal welfare bodies including the RSPCA.
For those wishing to attend the social events of the summer season, of which polo is a glittering highlight, Visit London lists the capital’s calendar of high-society occasions, sensibly noting the dress codes.
The polo community insists the sport deserves more genuine attention, and they are right, but they have also made their peace with their role in the social calendar. People come for the party, admitted one player. If a few of them happen to glance up and see an extraordinary feat of horsemanship between glasses of champagne, we consider it a bonus.
For now London polo continues to gallop, magnificently and largely unwatched, across the manicured fields of the summer season, a genuine sporting spectacle serving as the backdrop to the real event, namely the eternal British pursuit of being seen, in a wonderful hat, with a glass of something cold, by all the right people.
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. He currently lives in Holloway, North London. Contact: [email protected]
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