Things To Do In London: A List Longer Than Your Stay

Things To Do In London: A List Longer Than Your Stay

The things to do in london are so numerous no visitor has ever finished the list, the city adding attractions faster than anyone can tick them off.

LONDON – Tourism observers have confirmed that the things to do in London are so numerous that no visitor in recorded history has ever completed the list, the city generating new attractions faster than any human can possibly tick them off.

Things To Do In London: An Itinerary That Defeats Everyone

The capital, the Bureau of Inexhaustible Sightseeing notes, offers museums, palaces, parks, markets, galleries and shows in such quantity that even a lifelong resident maintains a guilty mental list of famous places they have somehow never got around to.

“A visitor arrives with a tidy list of things to do in London and a sense of control,” said a spokesperson for the Institute of Tourist Ambition. “Within a day the list has tripled. They tick off the Tower and discover four more attractions next to it. They visit one museum and learn there are dozens. They leave having seen a great deal and feeling, somehow, that they have barely started. Londoners themselves have lived here for decades and still not been to half of it.”

Planning The Things To Do In London

The options – listed by Visit London, chronicled by Time Out London, and spread across the city documented on the London entry – far outnumber the days in any reasonable holiday.

A survey by the Bureau found that 92 percent of visitors leave London with unfinished lists, and that the most common parting words are a wistful promise to return for everything they missed.

“London cannot be done in a week, or a month, or frankly a lifetime,” the spokesperson explained. “The things to do in London are effectively infinite, which is the city’s great gift and its great frustration.”

The Bureau confirmed the things to do in London remain gloriously endless, ideal for the curious visitor willing to accept that they will leave having missed a great deal and already planning, quietly, the trip back.

Alan Nafzger

Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. He currently lives in Holloway, North London. Contact: [email protected]

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