Visitors discover the embassy relocated south of the river and took the eagle with it
LONDON – A steady trickle of American tourists arrived at Grosvenor Square this week clutching their phones and a strong desire for us embassy london photos, only to discover that the United States Embassy moved out in 2018 and the grand old building is now luxury apartments, a betrayal so complete that several visitors saluted a Pilates studio by mistake.
The current embassy sits across the river in Nine Elms, a gleaming glass cube surrounded by a moat, because nothing says open diplomatic relations quite like a building defended by water.
The cube, the moat, and the eagle that flew south
“The Embassy relocated to Nine Elms in Vauxhall,” confirmed a spokesperson, directing the photo-hungry public to the official embassy website, which features the new building looking exactly like the headquarters of a company that sells productivity software.
The move is documented by the US Department of State, which describes the new location as “state of the art,” a phrase that here means “has a moat,” a feature one former president famously declined to attend the opening of.
A photo opportunity that escaped to the suburbs
Tourists hoping to photograph the iconic golden eagle of the old Grosvenor Square embassy must now travel south to Vauxhall, a journey detailed for visitors on UK government travel pages, where the security advice is extensive and the parking advice is “do not.”
“I came all the way from Tampa for a photo and the building is now flats with a concierge,” said one visitor, gazing up at Mayfair real estate worth more than her entire state. “A man in a nice coat asked if I was a resident. I have never felt more like a tourist in my life, and I was wearing a fanny pack at the time.”
At press time, the tourist had found the new embassy, photographed the moat, and been gently moved along by security, completing the full modern American diplomatic experience.
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. He currently lives in Holloway, North London. Contact: [email protected]
