Category: Entertainment

Business Entertainment

BBC Executives Resign

Megan Amram

BBC Executives Resign After Discovering Editing Donald Trump Is More Dangerous Than Interviewing Him LONDON – The BBC has entered another proud chapter in its long tradition of apologising to absolutely everyone by accepting the resignations of senior executives following controversy over a Panorama edit involving a speech by Donald Trump. The corporation described the departures as “necessary to restore confidence,” while privately admitting that confidence had become considerably more…

Culture Entertainment

London Festival Solves Overcrowding

Dr. Ingrid Gustafsson, Ph.D.

London Festival Solves Overcrowding by Opening Get event unveils revolutionary crowd-management strategy based on pressure, momentum and hoping everybody enters one at a time According to The Telegraph’s report on the Ghana Party in the Park crowd surge, a small fire near the entrance to Copthall Playing Fields required the gates to be closed temporarily. A crowd accumulated outside and surged when those gates reopened, proving once again that human…

Culture Entertainment

Festival Organisers Reopen Gates

Yasmina Khan

Festival Organisers Reopen Gates to Waiting Crowd, Express Surprise Crowd Uses Them Thousands of ticket holders accused of displaying unhealthy interest in entering event they paid to attend Festival organisers expressed astonishment this weekend after people waiting outside Ghana Party in the Park attempted to enter when its gates reopened. The festival crowd-surge report published by The Telegraph said a small fire near the entrance led to a temporary gate…

Culture Entertainment

Ghana Party in the Park Ends Early

Cyndi Himmelstiere

Ghana Party in the Park Ends Early After Health and Safety Arrives Several Thousand Guests Late Safety procedures reportedly located near entrance shortly after emergency vehicles, police officers and observable consequences The reported incident at Ghana Party in the Park began after a small fire near the entrance prompted the temporary closure of the gates. As the waiting crowd grew, people surged forward when entry resumed. Twenty-three attendees required assistance,…

Entertainment Lifestyle

BBC Discovers What a Coup Feels Like

Violet Woolf

BBC Discovers What a Coup Feels Like, Immediately Commissions Three Documentaries About It LONDON – After decades of reporting on coups, palace intrigues and political purges around the globe, the BBC this week experienced the exhilarating novelty of wondering whether one had broken out in Broadcasting House. The resignation of senior executives following the Trump speech editing controversy has reportedly left the corporation gripped by whispers of internal betrayal, strategic…

Entertainment Lifestyle

Ros Atkins Explains the BBC to the BBC

Alan Nafzger

Ros Atkins Explains the BBC to the BBC, BBC Declares Explanation Fair and Balanced LONDON – Following a week in which senior executives resigned, newspapers declared civil war inside Broadcasting House and half the country briefly became media ethicists, the BBC unveiled its ultimate emergency response. Ros Atkins. The corporation announced that only one man possessed the calm voice, animated graphics and emotional stability required to explain the BBC’s crisis…

Entertainment Culture Royals

Financial Independence Traditionally Involves Making Money

Alan Nafzger

MONTECITO, CALIFORNIA Meghan Reminds Prince Harry Financial Independence Traditionally Involves Making Money Duchess reportedly urges husband to stop treating paid employment as an embarrassing American custom A Yahoo Entertainment report about Meghan Markle and Prince Harry claims the Duchess of Sussex has become frustrated with her husband’s allegedly “snobbish” attitude toward Hollywood, believing he is allowing profitable opportunities to gallop past the mansion without even asking whether they offer dental insurance. The…

Culture Entertainment Lifestyle Social

Government Loudly Blames Spain

Hannah Miller

Government Activates National Crisis Plan: Close Curtains, Complain Loudly and Blame Spain Emergency Cobra Meeting Agrees Britain Is Too Hot and Continental Europe Probably Sent It LONDON, England — The government has activated Britain’s traditional heatwave response after forecasters warned that temperatures could exceed 30°C across southern England. The plan contains three stages: close the curtains, complain to anyone within hearing distance and blame warm air arriving from Spain for entering…