Company Confident Loneliness Can Be Overcome Through “Better Attitude”
London
A major British corporation has announced new remote work policy requiring that employees “be significantly more fun” while working from home, with HR noting that workplace isolation and reduced social interaction can be overcome through “better attitude and increased effort at being entertaining.”
“We’ve noticed remote workers seem less engaged,” an HR official explained. “So we’re requiring them to be more fun. They should make remote work more enjoyable through increased charisma.”
The policy involves performance evaluations now assessing employees’ “fun factor” and “entertainment value” during remote work, with workers required to demonstrate personality and humor despite working in isolation without peer interaction.
Remote work research documents that isolation, reduced social interaction, and lack of informal workplace socialization contribute to lower engagement and higher depression rates. The company apparently believes these factors can be overcome through employee attitude adjustment.
“Our employees should be fun,” the HR director noted. “If they’re not fun while isolated at home, that reflects personal failure, not workplace design failure.”
When asked whether workplace culture and employee wellbeing result from structural work design rather than individual attitude, HR responded: “That’s very philosophical. We prefer simpler approach: require fun; punish unfun employees.”
One remote worker reported struggling with isolation and depression. Her evaluation noted: “Fun factor: low. Recommendation: be more entertaining.” No support resources were provided for her mental health challenges.
Another worker attempted to follow the policy by being more entertaining during video meetings. He made jokes, participated enthusiastically, performed emotional labor to seem engaged. His evaluation praised his “improved fun factor” while his actual work quality declined from the emotional labor demands.
The company apparently believes emotional performance can substitute for actual workplace design improvements that might reduce isolation.
Employee engagement research documents that engagement depends on meaningful work, social connection, and supportive environments. The company has decided it depends on employee personality instead.
“We’re essentially requiring people to emotional labor their way out of isolation caused by our workplace design decisions,” one HR critic noted. The company responded: “That’s an uncharitable interpretation. We’re simply requiring fun.”
One employee asked: “What if remote work itself is depressing and I genuinely can’t perform fun while isolated?” HR responded: “That sounds like a personal problem. We’re looking for team players who can maintain fun regardless of circumstances.”
The policy has resulted in employees who are depressed, isolated, and now also required to pretend otherwise during evaluations, creating additional psychological burden on already-struggling workers.
Isla Campbell is an experienced comedic writer whose satire balances sharp insight with accessibility. Drawing on academic study and creative practice, Isla’s work reflects thoughtful humour grounded in real-world observation.
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British people will never say “I’m lonely”; they’ll say “I’m fine” in a way that suggests they are absolutely not fine and are actually dying inside.
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