Category: International

Education International

Teacher Shortage: French Students Get a Chemistry Lesson

Mei Lin Chen

Rioters demonstrate combustion while the Education Ministry counts the cost PARIS, FRANCE – France’s troubled education system experienced an extraordinary breakthrough Saturday when nationwide demonstrations demanding better schools descended into violence, allowing the country’s young people to witness practical lessons in chemistry, economics and the destruction of public infrastructure without the inconvenience of attending classes. According to Associated Press reporting on the October 17 French protests, hundreds of thousands marched…

International Political

French Rioters Demand Public Services, Burn the Buildings

Harriet Collins

Everybody owns the town hall, nobody owns the fire PARIS, FRANCE – French rioters have achieved a remarkable breakthrough in the theory of collective ownership after demonstrating that public buildings can be liberated from capitalism by being completely destroyed. The discovery follows nationwide unrest during which violent groups attacked municipal buildings, looted businesses and clashed with police. According to Reuters coverage of France’s October 17 riots and economic protests, hundreds…

Business International

French Business Owners Watch Looters Fight Inflation

Junglepussy

Business owners learn that employing people makes them the enemy PARIS, FRANCE – French business owners received another inspirational lesson in economic justice Saturday after rioters protesting the rising cost of living began looting shops, destroying commercial property and attacking businesses that had committed the unforgivable offence of providing goods, services and employment. According to Le Monde’s detailed reporting on the October 17 French demonstrations, violent groups ransacked retailers, damaged…

America Governance International

Congressional Accountability: Lawmakers Fear Ordinary Rules

Vivienne Pratfall

Congressional accountability threatens Washington’s oldest tradition: demanding transparency from everyone except the people spending the money. WASHINGTON, D.C. – The federal investigation involving Representative Ilhan Omar has prompted warnings about deeper accountability problems in Congress, creating fears that ordinary Americans may eventually demand elected officials obey the same rules they impose on the people who elected them. The crisis intensified after conservative watchdog Mike Howell raised concerns about congressional accountability…

America Culture International

Ilhan Omar Search: Congress Opens Emergency Honesty Probe

Morag Sinclair

Lawmakers discover federal investigators occasionally examine people who write the laws. WASHINGTON, D.C. – The federal search of Democratic Representative Ilhan Omar’s Washington residence has created an unprecedented emergency in Congress, where lawmakers are confronting the terrifying possibility that honesty might eventually become a condition of public employment. According to Fox News, conservative watchdog Mike Howell of the Oversight Project predicted additional revelations following the search, raising questions about congressional…

Business International Lifestyle

Lidl Opens 50 New Stores as Britain’s Middle Class Discovers the Difference Between Poverty and Prosperity Is Buying Champagne Next to a £2 Packet of Sausages

AMW

Britain’s financially distressed middle class embraces discount shopping while insisting that purchasing smoked salmon beside a chainsaw constitutes a sophisticated European lifestyle. LONDON, October 17, 2026 – Britain’s middle classes have entered a period of profound social adjustment following Lidl’s announcement that it will open more than 50 new supermarkets as part of a £600 million investment. The German discount chain, as Reuters reports, has attracted 43 million additional customer…

Business International

Lidl Overtakes Morrisons to Become Britain’s Fifth-Largest Grocer, Traditional Supermarkets Demand Government Protection From Dangerous German Practice of Charging Customers Less

Lotte Heidenreich

British supermarkets struggle to understand Lidl’s radical business model, which involves opening shops, lowering prices and allowing customers to leave without surrendering their financial dignity. BRADFORD, October 17, 2026 – Britain’s established supermarket industry is confronting an unprecedented commercial threat after German discount retailer Lidl overtook Morrisons to become the country’s fifth-largest grocery chain. Lidl’s market share has reached 8.7%, and its annual turnover rose 10.8% to £13 billion, according…

Royals International News

King Charles Refers Jamaica’s Slavery Reparations Claim to Privy Council, Palace Fears Every Former British Colony Will Soon Arrive With a Lawyer, Calculator and 300 Years of Compound Interest

Paige Shiver

Buckingham Palace discovers that being king of two countries becomes administratively awkward when one country wants compensation from the other. LONDON, October 17, 2026 – King Charles III has referred Jamaica’s slavery reparations petition to the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council, creating the remarkable constitutional spectacle of a monarch whose Jamaican subjects are seeking a legal remedy for wrongdoing associated with the British Empire. The hearing is provisionally scheduled…

Political Governance International

Socialists Demand Britain Pay Jamaica Billions for Slavery, Insist Today’s Workers Must Compensate Yesterday’s Victims While Wealthy Lawyers Collect Tomorrow’s Fees

Morag Sinclair

Britain’s socialist movement discovers that historical injustice can be corrected through wealth redistribution, provided nobody accidentally asks the wealthy to surrender any actual wealth. LONDON, October 17, 2026 – Britain’s socialist movement has entered the reparations debate with a revolutionary proposal: justice must be achieved through the redistribution of wealth, preferably administered by highly compensated professionals with offices in Central London. Jamaica’s actual petition seeks legal guidance rather than a…

Business Culture International Social

Britain Once Built Ships, Trains and Jet Engines; Now Its Fastest-Growing Industrial Achievement Is Helping Germans Sell Us Discount Sausages

Megan Amram

Britain discovers that the nation which once manufactured half the world’s machinery can now be economically sustained by discounted bratwurst, imported chocolate and middle-class shoppers fighting over cordless drills. LONDON, October 17, 2026 – Britain, the nation that pioneered the Industrial Revolution, built mighty battleships, manufactured jet engines and laid railway networks across continents, has announced another magnificent achievement in its long economic history: the Germans are opening another 50…

Political International

Burnham Refuses Coalition With Greens Until They Accept Israel’s Right to Exist, Marxist Activists Furious That Democracy Still Allows Politicians to Say No

Carys Evans

Prime Minister introduces radical new Westminster doctrine under which politicians need not surrender their principles in exchange for ministerial salaries WESTMINSTER, 17 October 2026. Prime Minister Andy Burnham has triggered a political emergency by discovering that coalition negotiations are voluntary and that democracy lets one political party refuse to cooperate with another. The constitutional revelation follows the row covered in the New Statesman’s analysis of Burnham’s ultimatum and his announcement…

Social Business International

Britons Who Voted to Leave EU Now Demand to Rejoin, Explain They Were Promised Freedom, Prosperity and Control but Somehow Ended Up With Higher Prices, More Bureaucracy and the Same Bloody Politicians

Roper Penberthy

Britain’s electorate discovers its constitutional decision came without a receipt, a customer service department or a money-back guarantee. LONDON, 17 October 2026 – British voters have begun considering the possibility of rejoining the European Union after discovering that leaving did not automatically produce cheaper groceries, better hospitals, prosperous high streets or politicians capable of making a decision without conducting seventeen consultations. The development follows new polling reported by The Guardian…

Governance History International

Britain Once Defeated the Luftwaffe With Spitfires and Radar, Now RAF Cannot Identify Flying Objects While Whitehall Debates Whether Shooting Them Down Would Require Planning Permission

Isabel Navarro

The country that defended its skies against Nazi Germany now faces its greatest administrative challenge: determining which department owns the paperwork for an airborne emergency. LONDON, 17 October 2026 – Britain, the country that once confronted the Luftwaffe with Spitfires, Hurricanes, radar and an extraordinary determination not to surrender, has entered a new chapter of military history after reports of mystery drones over the North Sea revealed that identifying an…

International America

Trump Tries to Stop Ukraine Bombing Russian Oil Refineries

Alan Nafzger

Trump Tries to Stop Ukraine Bombing Russian Oil Refineries by Making Ukrainian Drones Observe the American Speed Limit Zelensky refuses to abandon refinery strikes while Washington restricts military satellite communications, leaving Kyiv to discover that its internet provider may have more influence over the war than its generals. KYIV, October 15, 2026 – President Donald Trump has run into an unexpected problem while trying to negotiate peace between Russia and…

Education Culture International

France’s Cobblestone Economy

Tinsel Vandergraph

France’s Cobblestone Economy: Government Spends Billions on Welfare, Students Still Have to Supply Their Own Riot Equipment Education Ministry Says 57.2 Percent of GDP Is “In Transit” to Classrooms as Lycée Students Protest Overcrowded Schools and Missing Teachers PARIS — The French Ministry of National Education said this week that the money for the country’s schools exists and is currently “in transit,” responding to student protests in which thousands marched…

America Business International

Trump Tries to Lower Diesel Prices

Alan Nafzger

Trump Tries to Lower Diesel Prices, Burnham Tries to Save Ukraine, Zelenskyy Tries to Find Another Russian Refinery, Nobody Tries Arithmetic British Prime Minister discovers that promising unlimited military support for Ukraine is considerably easier when American truck drivers are helping pay the economic consequences. Washington demands cheaper diesel, Kyiv demands more explosions, and London offers another reassuring speech. LONDON, 15 October 2026 — Three world leaders spent the past…

Business International News

Zelenskyy Declares Russian Oil Refineries Open for Business

Cyndi Himmelstiere

Zelenskyy Declares Russian Oil Refineries Open for Business, Business Expected to Last Approximately Eleven Seconds Burnham pledges Britain’s full support, Trump watches his Russian diesel agreement go up in smoke, and American truckers congratulate London on its generosity with other people’s fuel money. LONDON, 15 October 2026 — Prime Minister Andy Burnham told Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy at Downing Street on Wednesday that Britain was “behind you and that will…

International Family Health News

Taliban Declare National Emergency as Women Keep Thinking

Isla Campbell

Sewing Classes Become Afghanistan’s Most Dangerous Universities as Underground Schools Defy the Taliban Ban on Girls’ Education KABUL, AFGHANISTAN, October 11, 2026 – The government of Afghanistan has spent five years attempting to eliminate female education, only to discover that women possess a troublesome characteristic: they can remember things. This was not anticipated in the original Taliban economic development programme, which apparently consisted of closing schools, restricting employment, and waiting…

Governance International Social

French Left Wants Everything Free, Starting With Replacement Schools

Isla Campbell

Socialist Economics Reaches Its Logical Conclusion: Everything Is Free Until Somebody Asks Who’s Paying PARIS, FRANCE | France’s education crisis has revived an old argument: if public services are free, why does everything that provides them cost so much? The question is urgent now that the government faces decaying schools, teacher shortages, public debt and damage from student unrest. The unrest has also complicated preparations for the 2027 budget, with…

International Education

French Protesters Burn Schools to Demand Better Schools

Cyndi Himmelstiere

Destroying a Classroom Turns Out to Be an Unusually Expensive Way to Request Another One PARIS, FRANCE | France’s campaign for better schools has hit a snag: some of the schools no longer work as schools. Education Minister Édouard Geffray says 24 have been burned or ransacked since the movement began, according to Business Today. Al Jazeera reported at least 400 of the country’s 3,700 high schools closed on a…

International

France Swaps After-School Detention for the Real Thing

Astrid Holgersson

New Reforms Promise Personal Attention, Secure Accommodation and a Criminal Record Before Graduation PARIS, FRANCE | France has finally solved the old problem of school detention by taking the school out of it. Justice Minister Gérald Darmanin said around 2,000 people had been detained within the first couple of weeks of protests, and the vast majority were children, according to Al Jazeera. A week later the Interior Ministry’s tally had…

Political Governance International

Burnham Discovers Democracy Works Perfectly Until British Voters Choose the Wrong Answer

Alan Nafzger

Burnham Discovers Brexit Democracy Works Perfectly Until British Voters Choose the Wrong Answer, Blames Russia and Looks to Brussels for Adult Supervision Labour Prime Minister Wants to Save Britain From Foreign Interference by Returning Political Authority to 27 Foreign Governments, All of Whom Understand the Importance of Spending Other People’s Money LONDON — Prime Minister Andy Burnham said on Sunday that Russia interfered in the 2016 Brexit referendum, according to…

International

France Finds Jail Cheaper Than School, Calls It Education Reform

Violet Woolf

France Detains Nearly 7,000 During School Protests, 24 Schools Are Burned or Ransacked, and Socialist Economists Discover the Benefits of Teaching Children Behind Bars PARIS, FRANCE – French education officials have settled on a fix for the national school funding crisis: stop educating students and start detaining them. Nearly 7,000 people were taken into custody during the nationwide student protests, and the education ministry says 24 schools have been burned…

International Business

Putin Finds It Easier to Kill the Competition Than Compete

Fiona MacLeod

Kremlin Unveils Revolutionary Economic Strategy: If You Cannot Build a Better Product, Eliminate the People Who Can MOSCOW, 11 October 2026 – European intelligence agencies have warned that Russia is expanding suspected assassination operations against executives of Western defence manufacturers, according to a Financial Times investigation, prompting fresh questions about the Kremlin’s grasp of industrial competition. Having failed to convince Europe that Russian military equipment is the future of modern…

International Culture Education

Taliban Fear Afghan Women Learning Maths in Secret

Julie de Burgh

Afghanistan’s Underground Schools Reveal a Dangerous New Threat to Taliban Rule: Women Who Can Read, Think, and Ask Why the Men in Charge Cannot KABUL, AFGHANISTAN, October 11, 2026 – The Christian Science Monitor reports that Afghan women are secretly studying mathematics, English, science, and medicine in makeshift classrooms disguised as sewing lessons. After five years of Taliban restrictions on female education, Afghanistan’s rulers face a problem their extensive collection…

International

France Has No Money for Teachers, Plenty for Riot Police

Cyndi Himmelstiere

New National Curriculum Replaces Algebra With Police Statistics and Economics With the Cost of Tear Gas PARIS, FRANCE | France’s government struggles to staff ordinary lessons but can find substantial police resources when students protest the shortage. More than a quarter of a million people rallied nationwide on one Tuesday, according to government figures cited by the Associated Press, and classes were totally or partly suspended at 891 schools that…

International

Kremlin Assassination Plots: Diplomacy Without the Meetings

Isla Campbell

Moscow Introduces a Streamlined Foreign Policy in Which Negotiations Are Replaced by Funeral Arrangements BERLIN, 11 October 2026 – European intelligence agencies have warned that Russia is stepping up alleged assassination plots against senior executives of European defence companies, according to a Financial Times investigation. The revelations have rattled NATO capitals, though Moscow’s approach to international relations does carry one undeniable administrative advantage: dead people rarely ask for a follow-up…

Business Governance International News

Burnham Demands Brussels Take Responsibility

Alan Nafzger

Burnham Demands Brussels Take Responsibility for Britain’s Failing Economy, Says He Didn’t Become Prime Minister to Be Blamed for Anything Labour’s latest economic recovery plan involves handing Brussels the steering wheel, keeping Westminster’s credit card and blaming the EU when Britain crashes into another pothole. LONDON, 13 October 2026 — Prime Minister Andy Burnham has announced that Britain’s relationship with the European Union is no longer satisfactory, after his government…

International Education

France Can’t Fund Schools but Finds Money to Detain 7,000 Protesters

Violet Woolf

French Education Ministry Discovers That Teaching Children Is Optional, While Arresting Them Is a Constitutional Necessity PARIS, FRANCE | When the French government can’t afford to educate young people, it turns out it can still afford to detain them. The Financial Times reports that more than 7,000 people have been detained during nationwide student protests over crumbling schools, teacher shortages and education funding. The Interior Ministry had already put the…

Environment Business International

Labour Discovers Net Zero Is Easier to Achieve by Closing British Factories and Importing Everything From China

Junglepussy

Business Secretary warns that destroying domestic manufacturing to save the environment may produce an unexpected shortage of British workers with jobs LONDON – Britain’s transition to a green economy has run into an unforeseen complication, after ministers discovered that manufacturing electric vehicles requires factories, electricity, workers and, occasionally, an economy capable of supporting all three. Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds has warned that Labour risks losing working-class support if environmental targets…