Tag: Professor Nigel Tidemark

Culture Governance Political Social

Knobbly Crab Declines Peerage

Emily Cartwright

Knobbly Crab Declines Peerage: “I Already Have a Shell, Thank You” Palace Confirms Offer Was Genuine; Crab Confirms Shell Is Sufficient; Honours Committee Confirms It Has Never Written This Sentence Before WHITSTABLE, KENT — The knobbly crab, Britain’s most trusted political figure and the only elected official in the country whose approval rating rises every time it declines to speak, has formally rejected an offer of a life peerage from His Majesty’s…

Culture Governance Political

Knobbly Crab Declared Britain’s Most Honest Politician

Roper Penberthy

Knobbly Crab Declared Britain’s Most Honest Politician After Walking Sideways Away From Every Question Scientists Discover Knobbly Crab Has More Backbone Than Entire Civil Service, While Voters Admit They Prefer Candidates With Visible Shells WHITSTABLE, KENT — The knobbly crab, a suspiciously lumpy coastal creature previously known for hiding under rocks, frightening toddlers at tide pools, and refusing to explain itself to journalists, has been declared Britain’s most honest politician…