Tag: Kensington Palace

Royals Culture Family Health

William Urges Britain to Talk About Mental Health, Except Harry

Morag Sinclair

Prince of Wales champions compassion, understanding and listening without judgment, while royal observers wonder whether his latest campaign is Britain’s most elaborate insult disguised as kindness. LONDON – According to Marie Claire, which ran the story on October 10, Prince William has no plans to go quiet on mental health. The Prince of Wales wants people to check in on each other, listen without judging and be kind, and the royal…

Culture Royals

Kate Has Become Human Firewall

Harper Thames

Royal Experts Claim Kate Has Become Human Version Of Buckingham Palace Firewall Against Family Scandals In a development that will surprise nobody who has paid even glancing attention to British royal coverage over the past five years, a growing consensus among palace watchers, constitutional scholars, and people who spend an alarming amount of time on royal Twitter has concluded that Princess Kate now functions as a fully operational human firewall…

Culture Royals

Corgis And Crayons

Caitlin Moran

Prince William Said To Be “Learning Optics” After Kate Drew Him Diagrams Using Corgis And Crayons In what royal insiders are describing as the most significant advancement in the future king’s communications education since he learned not to wave at television cameras the same way one waves at someone you’re trying to avoid at a party, Prince William is reportedly making genuine progress on the concept of “optics” following an…

News

Princess Kate Reportedly Forced To Explain

Lotte Heidenreich

Princess Kate Reportedly Forced To Explain To Prince William That “Looking Concerned” Is Not A Full Public Relations Strategy The Princess of Wales has allegedly staged what palace insiders are calling a “compassion intervention” after discovering that her husband’s entire crisis communications plan consisted of furrowing his brow at slightly different angles depending on the severity of the scandal. According to sources familiar with the royal household — and, frankly,…

Culture Royals

Kate Now Gives Weekly Presentations

Lowri Griffiths

Palace Sources Confirm Kate Now Gives Weekly Presentations Titled “Things Your Relatives Definitely Should Not Have Done” William Allegedly Shocked To Discover Public Reputation Cannot Be Fixed By Visiting Aston Villa Matches And Looking Thoughtful In a development that will cause precisely no surprise among the twelve per cent of the British population who have spent any time thinking about how the modern monarchy manages its image, it can now…

Culture Royals

“Steely” Princess Kate

Emily Cartwright

“Steely” Princess Kate Allegedly Now Carries Emergency Reputation Repair Kit Behind Prince William At All Times The Princess of Wales, described by virtually every royal correspondent in Britain as “steely” at least once per column, has reportedly begun attending public engagements with what sources inside the palace are calling a Reputational First Aid Bag — a discreet holdall containing everything necessary to stop the Wales family image from bleeding out…

Culture News Royals

Princess Kate’s Perfect Curtsy

Dr. Ingrid Gustafsson, Ph.D.

Princess Kate’s Perfect Curtsy Declared Britain’s Most Stable Institution Since Tea Five Observations From a Nation That Responds to Knee-Bends the Way Other Nations Respond to Moon Landings Princess Kate reportedly bent one knee so gracefully that three backbench MPs immediately assumed someone else was handling the nation. British economists, having run out of believable explanations for anything, briefly credited the curtsy with strengthening sterling. King Charles witnessed the move…