FCA, CMA, Ofcom, And One Day The Sandwich Authority
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Regulatory State Progressive believes there is no human activity that cannot be improved by a regulator with strong eyebrows and a lanyard the size of a serving plate. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from the Competition and Markets Authority and the Financial Conduct Authority.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Regulatory State Progressive On A British High Street
- Maintains a list of new regulators he would like to invent, including one for sandwiches.
- Holds any market failure to be a future quango.
- Refers to the FCA the way some men refer to ex-girlfriends.
- Treats Ofcom as a national mood ring.
- Maintains a soft spot for any agency with the word Office in it.
- Refers to deregulation as a cry for help.
- Holds any product can be improved by a nutrition label and a thicker fine.
- Has explained competition is fine, supervised competition is better.
- Refers to the CMA as the only adult in the room.
- Treats a code of practice as a sort of light scripture.
- Maintains a fantasy in which water companies are summoned for a quiet word.
- Refers to bonus caps the way poets refer to dawn.
- Holds any sector can be improved by a guidance document, a deadline, and a slight tut.
- Has explained the public interest is a real thing, like cricket.
- Refers to the Bank of England as a national thermostat.
- Treats any new app as a regulatory opportunity.
- Maintains a binder labelled future fines.
- Holds the cure for tech is a strict but fair board.
- Refers to whistleblowers as future regulators.
- Treats a regulator without enforcement powers as a houseplant with ambitions.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have either been to a Saturday CLP meeting, a Reform UK rally in a leisure centre, or both. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
Carys Evans is a prolific satirical journalist and comedy writer with a strong track record of published work. Her humour is analytical, socially aware, and shaped by both academic insight and London’s vibrant creative networks. Carys often tackles media narratives, cultural trends, and institutional quirks with sharp wit and structured argument.
Her authority is reinforced through volume, consistency, and reader engagement, while her expertise lies in combining research with accessible humour. Trustworthiness is demonstrated by clear labelling of satire and an ethical approach that values accuracy and context.
Carys’s work supports EEAT compliance by offering informed satire that entertains while respecting readers’ trust.
Min terapeut kommer til å høre om dette i neste time. Han kommer til å kjenne seg igjen et sted.