Tag: Westminster Abbey

Culture News Royals

Sarah Ferguson Lectures Six-Year-Old Eugenie

Alan Nafzger

Sarah Ferguson Lectures Six-Year-Old Eugenie About Making Terrible Life Choices, Apparently Forgetting She Married Prince Andrew Princess Eugenie’s childhood complaint about uncomfortable shoes exposes the greatest contradiction in royal parenting: a family with centuries of terrible decisions believes it is qualified to offer advice. LONDON — The British monarchy has survived wars, divorces, abdications, financial scandals and Prince Andrew. But according to a parenting anecdote HELLO! magazine revisited on 10…

Royals Culture Social

Britain Faces Six Impending Royal Conflicts

Cyndi Himmelstiere

Prince Harry Faces Six Impending Royal Crisis, Palace Quietly Orders Seventh Just in Case Royal Calendar Now Includes Remembrance Sunday, Christmas, Carol Singing and Several Ceremonial Opportunities to Stand Near Someone You Haven’t Spoken to Since 2022 LONDON — Britain, having temporarily run short of constitutional emergencies, has discovered six fresh crises involving Prince Harry, Meghan Markle and the terrifying possibility that somebody might attend Christmas lunch. What are the…

Culture News Royals Social

King Charles Braces for New Diana Book

Alan Nafzger

King Charles Braces for New Diana Book, Discovers 1997 Still Hasn’t Finished With Him Palace fears an “unfiltered” Charles Spencer memoir after relying for three decades on carefully ironed history LONDON — King Charles is reportedly “bracing for the worst” ahead of Charles Spencer’s forthcoming memoir about Princess Diana, according to this report on the King’s reaction to the Spencer memoir, forcing Buckingham Palace to confront the monarchy’s greatest constitutional weakness: another…

Business Royals

Duke of Sussex Believes Reconciliation Begins With Direct Deposit

AMW

Historians Note Medieval Princes Also Preferred Forgiveness With Monthly Payments LONDON — Royal historians, financial analysts and several men currently hiding from their ex-wives have united in admiration this week after reports emerged suggesting that Prince Harry’s latest understanding of family reconciliation begins with the same question millions of ordinary Britons ask every payday: “Has the money gone through yet?” According to unnamed palace observers — and people who communicate exclusively…

Business Culture Entertainment Royals

California Lifestyle Costs Slightly More Than Frogmore Cottage

Aishwarya Rao

LONDON, England. Prince Harry is reportedly seeking financial assistance from King Charles III, proving that no matter how many documentaries, memoirs, podcasts, interviews, Oprah sit-downs, and gently-lit candid photo opportunities a person produces, eventually every family group chat circles back to the one truly universal message: “Dad, could you help me out?” Royal historians say the British monarchy survived the Vikings, three civil wars, the abdication crisis, and Fergie’s toe situation, but nobody…

Culture News Royals

Princess Kate’s Perfect Curtsy

Dr. Ingrid Gustafsson, Ph.D.

Princess Kate’s Perfect Curtsy Declared Britain’s Most Stable Institution Since Tea Five Observations From a Nation That Responds to Knee-Bends the Way Other Nations Respond to Moon Landings Princess Kate reportedly bent one knee so gracefully that three backbench MPs immediately assumed someone else was handling the nation. British economists, having run out of believable explanations for anything, briefly credited the curtsy with strengthening sterling. King Charles witnessed the move…