Tag: VAR

Culture International Political Sports

Parliament Immediately Opens Inquiry Into the Rules of Football

Caitlin Moran

England Loses Semi-Final, Parliament Immediately Opens Inquiry Into the Rules of Football MPs Demand Answers From a Sport That Has Existed, Unchanged, Since 1863 Following England’s exit from the semi-final on penalties — a phrase now legally required by tradition to appear in every national headline — Parliament has convened an emergency inquiry into the laws of football itself, on the grounds that a game England did not invent the…

Sports Culture Current Absurdities History International

Britain Demands FIFA Investigate Falklands War Banner

Judi Online

Britain Demands FIFA Investigate Banner, Hopes VAR Can Also Review the Falklands War FA Requests Formal Review, FIFA Requests Everyone Please Calm Down Britain has formally asked FIFA to investigate a controversial banner displayed during a recent match, while simultaneously floating — mostly in jest, though nobody in Whitehall will fully confirm this — whether the Video Assistant Referee system might also be repurposed to settle certain unresolved matters of…

Culture Current Absurdities Sports

UEFA’s “Marxist” Press Release

Vivienne Pratfall

UEFA Discovers Politics Is Terrible… Right After Issuing a “Marxist” Press Release ⚽ Europe’s Football Bureaucrats Demand Games Stay Apolitical, Immediately Hold Three Emergency Political Meetings The marble corridors of UEFA echoed with self-congratulation this week after officials courageously declared that politics has absolutely no place in football… moments after publishing a press release that read like the minutes from a graduate seminar in political theory. The timing was, as…

America News Sports Tourism

World Cup “Inarguably” the Worst Ever?

Tinsel Vandergraph

World Cup “Inarguably” the Worst Ever? A British Rebuttal to FIFA’s Most Commercial Tournament Yet The 2026 FIFA World Cup has been hailed by some commentators as the greatest tournament ever staged. The football has been magnificent. The goals have been outrageous. The underdogs have delighted billions. Unfortunately, so have airport queues, hotel invoices, and ticket prices that appear to have been calculated by a Bond villain with a grudge…

Culture Entertainment Sports

Iran Coach Files Official Complaint

Carys Evans

Iran Coach Files Official Complaint That Scoreless Draw Failed to Reward His Feelings FIFA Reportedly Considering Whether Grievances Should Count as Goals LONDON / ZURICH — Following Iran’s scoreless draw with Belgium at the 2026 FIFA World Cup, Iranian coach Amir Ghalenoei delivered a post-match press conference that lasted longer than some European monarchies and left neutral observers wondering whether the sport had quietly introduced emotional scoring — possibly slipped…

Culture International Sports

Jim Ratcliffe Sees Perfectly Well…

Alan Nafzger

Manchester United co-owner says UK has been ‘colonized by immigrants’ Five Quick Observations Before Kickoff ⚽ Manchester United’s bench has so many passports it needs its own customs queue at Old Trafford. If 69.5 million becomes 70 million after rounding, then my five-a-side career almost counts as Premier League. Every time zone watching United is technically a global occupation of sofas. If aliens can afford match tickets, frankly they deserve…