London Fund Managers Look Up What STAR Stands For LONDON, England (Prat.uk) — Fund managers across the Square Mile spent the early part of the week on an unfamiliar task, which was finding out what the Chinese STAR 50 index actually contains. The answer, according to Reuters, is a basket of mainland artificial intelligence and semiconductor companies that has lost 40 percent of its value in under four months. That…
Machine finds British economic self-destruction already fully staffed LONDON, CITY OF LONDON – A rogue Chinese artificial intelligence swarm has voluntarily disconnected itself from Britain’s financial infrastructure after examining national economic policy for eleven minutes and concluding that no machine, however sophisticated, could possibly improve upon the country’s existing methods of economic self-destruction. The system, designated MARKET-9000, reportedly entered City financial databases intending to study international capital flows, investment opportunities…
Global Banks Warn Windfall Tax Could Drive Them From London, Estate Agents Immediately List Canary Wharf as ‘Potential Studio’ | City Discovers Banks Enjoy Taxing Customers More Than Being Taxed
London Bankers and Lawyers Earn £1.2 Billion Selling Companies, Economy Relieved Somebody Is Still Making Something | Britain’s Fastest-Growing Product Is Apparently the Advisory Fee
Airtel Money Plans Huge London IPO, City Checks Pulse and Discovers It Still Has One | London Stock Exchange Spots New Listing and Immediately Calls Mum
City of London Warns Protecting Tower Views Could Make Skyscrapers Unviable Economics Students Discover Supply, Demand and Extremely Expensive Sunlight as Henry VIII Reportedly Delights That His Property Portfolio Still Controls the Market Economics students across Britain received an unexpected practical lesson this week after the City of London warned that stronger protection of views around the Tower of London could make some skyscraper developments commercially unviable. For generations, economics teachers have struggled to…
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