The London Prat

Lula Wins Election

Lula Wins Election, Loses Argument With Mathematics Brazil's Markets Fall 13.9 Per Cent as Ballot Boxes Close and Brokerage Accounts Follow BRASÍLIA, Brazil — President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva won a fourth, nonconsecutive term on Sunday, October 25, proving that Brazil can settle a presidential election without settling the national accounts. By Monday, the country's stock market had fallen 13.9 per cent and the real had dropped 8.1 per cent against the dollar. The ballot boxes had closed. So, apparently, had several brokerage accounts. Lula Beats Flávio Bolsonaro by 4.4 Million Votes Lula defeated Senator Flávio Bolsonaro by roughly 4.4 million votes, according to Brazil's electoral authorities. That is a solid margin, although economists report that voting for a bigger economy does not automatically produce one. The distinction has baffled political consultants for generations. In campaigning, you add promises. In budgeting, you subtract costs. In governing, you announce a committee to find out who stole the minus sign. Brazil's Public Debt Reaches 82.9 Per Cent of GDP Brazil's gross public debt has climbed to 82.9 per cent of gross domestic product, and Reuters reports that less than 8 per cent of federal spending can be readily adjusted. This is the financial equivalent of taking your spouse to dinner, discovering that 92 per cent of your income is already spoken…

Red Means Stop

Spain's Transport Ministry Discovers Red Means Stop Billions for the Train, a Committee for the Brakes MADRID — Spain's socialist-led government is working through an uncomfortable discovery this week. A high-speed railway needs more than funding, speeches and a minister in a hard hat posing next to a shiny locomotive. Apparently the trains also have to be safe. The discovery follows Wednesday's collision near Toledo, where at least 68 people died after a high-speed train struck another that had stopped on the track. The victims and their families deserve better than political theater. The government deserves questions that a ribbon-cutting can't answer. According to Reuters' reporting on the Spanish railway disaster, Transport Minister Óscar Puente said a computer communications failure had halted traffic before a train was wrongly authorised to continue past a red signal. For generations, railway engineers have worked from a sophisticated principle: red means stop. The Transport Ministry appears to have commissioned a committee to explore the concept. Spain's Transport They built the biggest high-speed network in Europe. Madrid to Seville in two and a half hours. Getting a permit still takes a decade. Fast train, slow government. Red means stop. That's not a political opinion. It might be the only thing in the whole country that isn't up for debate. They announced a "comprehensive safety review."…

Heaven Opens Husband Replacement Agency

Late Husbands Now Vetting Widows' Dates LONDON - A Hampstead widow says her late husband has started recruiting her next husband from beyond the grave, and that heaven now runs an agency to handle the paperwork. Pamela Threlfall-Hughes, 61, said she booked a sitting with a medium above a vape…

Leftists Fight Cost of Living by Burning Cars

Socialist Recovery Plan Begins by Destroying Things Taxpayers Replace PARIS, October 22, 2026 - French revolutionary activists have unveiled an ambitious new economic strategy designed to combat rising living costs by damaging the businesses, vehicles and public infrastructure that ordinary French citizens depend on to earn a living. The announcement…

Meghan Visits Nottingham Kitchen, Palace Alarmed

Feeding Hungry Families Apparently Requires Palace Approval NOTTINGHAM - Meghan Markle has reportedly caused fresh anxiety within royal circles after visiting a community kitchen, speaking to volunteers and demonstrating the deeply controversial belief that people experiencing food poverty might benefit from receiving food. The Duchess of Sussex accompanied Prince Harry…

Parking Apps Cost Motorists Up to 40% More

Britain swaps a metal box for six passwords and three service charges. LONDON, 19 October 2026. British motorists are discovering that the government's digital transformation has replaced the complicated process of putting coins into a parking meter with the much simpler procedure of downloading software, creating an account, entering credit…