Big Bang, Right To Buy, And A Very Strong Handbag
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Thatcherite Market Liberal believes the country was sorted out once, in the 1980s, by a woman with very strong opinions about milk and a handbag the size of a small constituency. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from the Institute of Economic Affairs and the Margaret Thatcher Foundation.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Thatcherite Market Liberal On A British High Street
- Refers to Margaret Thatcher the way some men refer to a beloved cricket captain.
- Has explained, repeatedly, that there is no alternative.
- Holds any state-owned anything is a sort of slow national damp.
- Maintains a fantasy in which BT is privatised again, just to enjoy it.
- Refers to Arthur Scargill the way historians refer to floods.
- Treats the Big Bang of 1986 as a sort of national fireworks night.
- Maintains a binder of Thatcher speeches he can summon by mood.
- Refers to council houses as the great unfinished sale.
- Holds any union is structurally a tax on common sense.
- Has explained, at a wedding, that the Lady was not for turning, even at the cake.
- Refers to Europe as the long, awkward dinner.
- Treats any Conservative leader since 1990 as a small sigh.
- Maintains a fantasy in which the Falklands return.
- Refers to public spending as the addiction.
- Holds any policy can be improved by privatising the bit nearest.
- Refers to the IEA the way poets refer to spring.
- Treats the right to buy as a sort of national love letter.
- Has explained society does in fact exist, but is overrated.
- Refers to Whitehall as the building she should have flattened.
- Believes the country is one disciplined Chancellor away from another morning.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have either been to a Tory association AGM, a Reform UK rally above a leisure centre, or both. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
Megan Amram is a standup comedian based in Portland, OR. She is a native of North London.
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