Tag: Church of England

News Royals

Scientology Fails to Recruit George and Charlotte

Oeko Angebot

Royal Children Turn Down Tom Cruise Over Management Structure LONDON, England (The London Prat) — Scientology’s attempt to recruit Prince George and Princess Charlotte has collapsed after the children discovered that joining the religion would involve starting at the bottom. George was particularly offended. “I’m going to be King of England,” he explained. “Why would I join something where I’m not even assistant manager?” Charlotte had a more practical objection.…

Culture Entertainment Family Royals Social

Scientology’s Takeover of William and Kate

Oeko Angebot

Twelve Clues Suggest Scientology Is Circling William and Kate, Thirteenth Clue Simply Reads ‘Seriously, How Many Royal Events Is Tom Cruise At?’ Royal journalist assembles 12 pieces of evidence Scientology has reached the heirs, immediately runs out of red string LONDON — Buckingham Palace has reportedly become concerned about Prince William and Catherine’s increasingly visible association with Tom Cruise, although the actual reporting rests on an anonymous source rather than any public…

Entertainment Family Royals

Tom Cruise Says Five Nice Words About Kate Middleton

Margaret Colley

Tom Cruise Says Five Nice Words About Kate Middleton, Britain Deploys Entire Royal-Analysis Industry “William chose well” enters the national bloodstream, where ordinary compliments are immediately converted into constitutional events LONDON — Britain’s royal-commentary infrastructure was placed on heightened alert after Tom Cruise reportedly looked at Catherine, Princess of Wales, and delivered the dangerously concise verdict: “William chose well, she’s beautiful.” The remark, reported by Grazia, contained five words of matrimonial analysis,…