Small theatres report 400% increase in comprehension when Bard’s soliloquies reference contactless payment
Breakthrough Research from Camden’s Theatre Laboratory
A comprehensive three-year study from the Institute of Making Shakespeare Relatable has concluded that audiences understand existential dread significantly better when Hamlet’s soliloquies include observations about delivery drivers leaving parcels with neighbours. Small London theatres have been quick to embrace these findings.
“To Be or Not To Be” Now Addresses Energy Bills
The updated version, currently playing at the Hoxton Pit Theatre, sees Hamlet wrestle with mortality while simultaneously checking his phone for a Deliveroo update. “Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles by finally cancelling that gym membership you never use,” the revised text reads.
Romeo and Juliet Reimagined as Dating App Tragedy
The Balcony Scene has been updated to a “Ring Doorbell Incident,” with Juliet asking “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” via WhatsApp voice note. “Young people couldn’t relate to star-crossed lovers meeting at a party,” explained director Tabitha Crosswell-Jones. “But they absolutely understand the pain of being left on read.”
King Lear’s descent into madness now incorporates a subplot about trying to reset his password for online banking. “The Bard would have wanted this,” insisted Dr. Marcus Frome, the study’s lead researcher. “Shakespeare was all about accessibility. If he were alive today, he’d definitely have Macbeth use contactless payment for those murdering daggers.”
Traditional theatres remain sceptical, though the National admitted they’re “keeping an open mind” about Othello featuring a subplot involving misdelivered Amazon packages.
SOURCE: https://www.thepoke.com/?shakespeare-modern-adaptations
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