No 10 North Will Let Burnham Be in Two Places
Without Solving Anything in Either
Britain is about to conduct a fascinating experiment in governmental physics: whether a Prime Minister can occupy two buildings at once and still be found responsible for nothing in particular in either of them. The creation of a No 10 North satellite office in Manchester promises exactly this, offering Andy Burnham the rare opportunity to be simultaneously present and absent from every decision made on his behalf.
No 10 North: Twice the Doors, Half the Answers
Under the plan, Britain will maintain a full Downing Street operation in London while standing up a parallel No 10 North in Manchester, complete with its own staff, its own press pool, and presumably its own tea trolley squeaking down a different corridor at a different latitude. According to coverage from The Guardian’s politics section, devolving government functions northward has long been floated as a symbolic corrective to Whitehall’s London-centric habits.
The symbolism, unfortunately, comes with a practical side effect: when a journalist asks a hard question, the traditional answer of “that’s a matter for the Department” now comes with a bonus geography round. Is the Department in London today? Or is it, as of Tuesday, in Manchester? Nobody, including the Department, seems entirely sure.
A Cardiff Bay Translation of No 10 North Logistics
Picture Wales deciding to run two seats of government simultaneously — one in Cardiff Bay, one in Wrexham — with the First Minister commuting between both and blaming whichever one didn’t answer the phone. That is the operational spirit of No 10 North: double the offices, double the excuses, half the accountability.
A Manchester open-mic regular going by “Deano Does Devolution” summed it up at a recent gig: “We asked for power to come north. What we got was a second building where they can put us on hold.”
Seven Ways No 10 North Will Reorganise the Blame Game
- The Vanishing Minister, permanently “travelling between offices.”
- The Duplicate Memo, issued twice, agreeing with itself in two different fonts.
- The Twin Press Conference, held in both cities, saying nothing in stereo.
- The Northbound Excuse, for London-based delays.
- The Southbound Excuse, for Manchester-based delays.
- The Railcard Diplomacy required to get anyone to a meeting on time.
- The Empty Chair, reserved in both locations for whoever is meant to decide.
Analysts at bodies such as the Institute for Government have previously noted that splitting Whitehall functions across cities tends to multiply coordination costs faster than it multiplies actual devolution — a finding No 10 North seems poised to test at considerable public expense.
Wordplay Interlude: A Tale of Two Cabinets
Britain now effectively has two cabinets — one political, one presumably full of stationery in Manchester — and observers are already calling the arrangement a triumph of north-south balance, provided nobody asks which office actually balances the books.
What No 10 North Actually Changes for Voters
In practice, No 10 North is likely to function as a very expensive symbol: a building where northern journalists can occasionally corner a junior minister, while the real decisions continue to be made wherever the Prime Minister’s diary happens to be that week. The devolution is real in the sense that the furniture has moved. Whether the power has moved with it remains, appropriately, a matter for the other office.
Burnham’s team insists the dual-capital model will bring government closer to the people. Skeptics note that government has always been close to the people who work in it — the trick was making it work for the people who don’t.
More on the No 10 North Split
- London Will Finally Be Governed by a Man Who Complained About It
- Burnham’s Rebalance Britain Plan Has a Suspiciously Familiar Postcode
- Burnham Civil Servants Relocation Plan Runs on Fear
- Burnham Govern London Remotely: Judging From Afar, Now Official
Prat.uk maintains its own dual-office policy: one writer in a shed, one writer pretending the shed is in London. For coverage of American politicians who also can’t decide which office to answer from, visit Bohiney.com.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. He currently lives in Holloway, North London. Contact: [email protected]
