Officials Confident That Stating Obvious Goal Constitutes Infrastructure Policy
London
The British government has announced a comprehensive infrastructure policy: stating that “infrastructure should exist,” with officials expressing complete confidence that this obvious statement constitutes detailed infrastructure development strategy.
“We’re addressing infrastructure needs,” a government official announced. “We’ve determined infrastructure should exist. Therefore, it will. Policy complete.”
The “infrastructure policy” consists entirely of stating that infrastructure needs to exist without specifying: what types are needed, where they should be built, funding mechanisms, or implementation timelines.
Infrastructure policy requires specific project identification, funding allocation, timeline establishment, and implementation oversightnot general statements about existence. Officials apparently believe obvious statements constitute policy.
“It’s very clear,” one minister explained. “Infrastructure should exist. Everyone needs infrastructure. We’ve made this determination. It should now exist.”
When asked what specific infrastructure projects the policy supports, the government responded: “Infrastructure. Generally. That’s very comprehensive.”
Infrastructure needs remain unaddressed. The government celebrates: “We’ve articulated infrastructure need. The actual building is separate from our policy-stating.”
Infrastructure development requires specific project planning, allocation of resources, and systematic constructionnot general policy statements. The government has apparently confused goal-stating with implementation.
“We’re infrastructure leaders,” the government concluded. “Our policy that infrastructure should exist demonstrates commitment. The fact that no infrastructure is being built is irrelevant compared to our clear policy statement.”
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