Tag: White House

America International

Military Defeat Notice: Trump Asks If Iran Was Told It Lost

Junglepussy

The White House suspects a postal error. WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has ordered an emergency investigation into whether Iran has been properly notified of its overwhelming military defeat, after the disturbing discovery that the Iranian regime keeps fighting despite months of American victories, destroyed military equipment and White House announcements enthusiastic enough to convince nearly everyone except Iran. The confusion follows an October 16 Christian Science Monitor investigation into…

America International Political

Donald Trump Shoots the Messenger

Bethan Morgan

Trump Bans the Press: The King Shoots the Messenger Again From a sofa in London we watch Washington rediscover the oldest trick in politics: sack the courier, keep the crisis WASHINGTON — For most of human history, rulers confronted bad news using a simple communications strategy. They killed the person who brought it. It was crude. It was violent. It was *terrible for staff retention*. Fortunately, civilisation has progressed. The modern…

America Culture

Air Force One “Maxed Out”

Dr. Ingrid Gustafsson, Ph.D.

Trump Orders Air Force One “Maxed Out” With Gold Seatbelts, Ballroom and Emergency McDonald’s Drive-Thru Qatari-donated presidential jet returns to the hangar after experts discover it can repel missiles but cannot yet host a championship golf tournament Washington, D.C., for The London Prat Air Force One Heads Back to the Hangar President Donald Trump’s new Air Force One is heading back to the workshop for approximately a month of additional…

America Current Absurdities

American Assassination Drama

Isla Campbell

Suffolk Airbase Unexpectedly Central To American Assassination Drama, Locals Baffled It is a well-established rule of British life that nothing of consequence happens in Suffolk, and yet here we are, watching RAF Mildenhall play a supporting role in what may or may not be a genuine attempt on the life of the President of the United States. The facts: Israel has told America that Iran has drawn up a fresh…

America Current Absurdities International News

Sixty-Day Peace Process: What Can We Expect?

Fiona MacLeod

Iran Begins Historic Sixty-Day Process Of Doing Absolutely Nothing Tehran Celebrates Successful Agreement To Discuss Whether It Agreed To The Agreement TEHRAN, Iran – Iranian officials celebrated Friday after completing the first twenty-four hours of their historic sixty-day diplomatic initiative, during which they successfully signed an agreement, questioned the agreement, accepted the agreement conditionally, rejected several interpretations of the agreement and cancelled the first meeting intended to implement the agreement.…