Tag: Princess Eugenie

Culture Family Royals Tourism

Home Office Interrogates Newborn Royal

Tinsel Vandergraph

Home Office Interrogates Newborn Royal Over Suspected Loyalty to Portuguese Sunshine Leaked Transcript Reveals Infant Repeatedly Refused to Confirm Allegiance to Rain, Queuing or the Shipping Forecast Officials say baby noises were translated using a certified infant-linguistics contractor and a great deal of professional guesswork. LONDON — The Home Office has confirmed that Princess Eugenie’s newborn daughter underwent a standard citizenship-loyalty interview within 48 hours of her birth in Lisbon,…

Culture Current Absurdities Royals

Algarve Expats Form Royal Support Group

Siobhan O’Donnell

Algarve Expats Form Royal Support Group, Declare Newborn Princess “One of Us” British Retirees and Digital Nomads Across Portugal Claim Solidarity With Royal Baby, Citing Shared Struggles With Sunburn and NHS Withdrawal Group’s founding charter reportedly includes a clubhouse rule that no member may discuss British weather without first apologizing for bringing it up. LAGOS, PORTUGAL — Within hours of Princess Eugenie’s daughter being born in Lisbon, members of Portugal’s…

Entertainment Royals

Sarah Ferguson Returning to Britain

Carys Evans

Sarah Ferguson Eyes “Most Incredible Comeback Yet,” Frank Sinatra’s Estate Demands Royalty Payments Former duchess reportedly considers returning to Britain, repairing relations with King Charles and telling “her side” after discovering public silence cannot be monetised LONDON, ENGLAND — Sarah Ferguson is reportedly considering what one royal commentator has called her “most incredible” comeback yet, potentially involving a return to Britain, an attempt to rebuild relations with King Charles and…

Culture Royals Social

Royal Drama Has Returned To Traditional Format

Caitlin Moran

Britain Relieved To Discover Royal Drama Has Returned To Traditional Format Of Passive Aggression And Fancy Hats LONDON. Well. That’s a relief. After years of streaming contracts, transatlantic sulking and the occasional six-part documentary about somebody’s feelings, the country can finally unclench. The royal feud has gone back to how it’s meant to be done. A tight smile across a marquee. A hat you could land a small aircraft on.…

Culture Royals Tourism

The Royals and Public Transport

Mei Lin Chen

The Royals Have Discovered Public Transport, And Frankly It Shows LONDON — The House of Windsor spent this week proving it can do almost anything a normal person does, provided there are nine photographers, a mayor, and a 640-year-old treaty to lean against. Royal Tours Now Require A Tram And A Truly Heroic Amount Of Gravitas The Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh kicked off their Portugal trip by riding a historic Lisbon tram,…

Culture Entertainment News Royals

What Fergie Knows Will Shock You

Mei Lin Chen

Royal Daughters Launch Desperate Mission To Stop Mom’s Tell-All Memoir—What Fergie Knows Will Shock You Princess Beatrice and Eugenie Deploy Every Weapon in Daughterly Arsenal to Prevent Literary Apocalypse According to multiple reports from The Express and The Telegraph, Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, is considering writing a tell-all memoir that has allegedly sent her daughters Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie into damage-control mode. The potential book comes amid ongoing scrutiny of…

News Royals

A Smart Defence of Beatrice and Eugenie

Alan Nafzger

A Smart Defence of Beatrice and Eugenie: Britain’s Most Unbothered Princesses Let us get this straight right off the bat: Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie did not wake up one morning and revoke their own titles, nor did they hold a board meeting at Buckingham Palace with a “Scrap Royalness?” flip chart. When the royal title reshuffle happened, it was about their father’s titles, not theirs — and the news cycle blew it…