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London’s New Year’s Day Parade 2026

London’s New Year’s Day Parade Ten Glorious Groups Marching Heroically Into Mild Absurdity London’s New Year’s Day Parade is not just a parade. It’s a moving sociology paper with drums. It’s Britain politely allowing the rest of the world to borrow its streets, its weather, and its deep emotional confusion about celebration. To rank for London parade whilst staying positive, witty, and vaguely useful, we must do the responsible thing and…

Business Culture

Top 20 London Letting Agent Jokes

Top 20 London Letting Agent Jokes from the People Who Took Your Deposit The London letting agent occupies a special place in the city’s emotional landscape. They are the gatekeepers between you and a flat you cannot afford, the deliverers of news you do not want, the arbiters of references you submitted in good faith, and the eventual adjudicators of a deposit dispute concerning a coffee mark that was already…

International News

Péter Magyar Defeats Viktor Orbán

Péter Magyar Defeats Viktor Orbán, Confirms That “Resigning Spectacularly” Remains the Most Effective Career Strategy Known to Man Five Observations From a Nation That Has Just Handed In Its Collective Notice — With Two-Thirds of the Votes Hungary has always been a land of deep history, paprika, and the sort of political plot twist one usually associates with a particularly ambitious sub-editor at a provincial newspaper with nothing to lose…

Business Culture

Top 20 London Accountant Jokes

Top 20 London Accountant Jokes That’ll Be Tax-Deductible If You Try Hard Enough The London accountant is one of the unsung professionals of the city — quietly heroic, deeply patient, and possessed of the particular skill of looking at a shoebox of receipts in March and producing, by July, a tax return that reflects both the law and the client’s vague intentions about both. They are the people standing between…

Business Culture

Top 20 London Therapy Jokes

Top 20 London Therapy Jokes That Will Cost You £180 to Process London is the most therapised city in Europe outside of perhaps Paris, and Paris doesn’t really count because the French regard their interior life as a private national achievement rather than something to be processed weekly. London, by contrast, has a therapist on every other street in Hampstead, an entire economic ecosystem of consulting rooms above health food…

News

London News: Guide

London News: Where Crime Statistics Meet Political Theatre in Britain’s Most Entertaining City Your essential guide to understanding why London remains both terrifying and totally fine, depending on who you ask Welcome to London news, where every headline is a contradiction and every statistic tells two completely different stories. In a city where the murder rate has plummeted to record lows whilst simultaneously being described as a lawless hellscape by…

America Current Absurdities International

Military Analysts Confidently Explain Events

Military Analysts Confidently Explain Events That Were Completely Different 12 Minutes Ago Newsnight Panel Achieves Collective Confidence Across Four Contradictory Positions LONDON — Newsnight, Question Time, Sky News Press Preview, and the Radio 4 Today programme have between them produced, during the week of the 8th to the 12th of April 2026, the most comprehensive body of confidently delivered, mutually contradictory analysis in the history of British broadcast journalism. This…

Reports

Berlin Wall Is Temporary

Government Assures Public Berlin Wall Is Temporary, Like Everything Else That Isn’t London, August 1961. The Government has moved swiftly to reassure the British public that the newly constructed barrier dividing Berlin is not to be regarded as permanent, ideological, or especially alarming, despite its concrete composition, armed guards, and general air of finality. Officials emphasised that walls have a long history of being erected in moments of tension and…

Reports

America’s Largest Warship Lost at Sea

America’s Largest Warship Has Been Lost at Sea for Eleven Months and the Pentagon Is Handing Out Plaques “I’ve been on longer stretches — the time I was made to wait in a Sainsbury’s queue for forty minutes counts, surely.” — Jack Dee “The Americans say the crew shows ‘resilience.’ That’s the HR word for ‘we’ve misplaced your return flight and we’re not sorry.’” — Frankie Boyle “At eleven months, that’s not…