Governance Political Social

Green Party Leader Loses Labour Stronghold Despite Promising Voters a Better World, Electorate Decides It Would Prefer Better Bins First

Zack Polanski promises climate action, rent controls and global justice while Camden voters request functioning pavements and somewhere to park a bicycle LONDON – Britain’s Green Party has suffered a disappointing parliamentary by-election defeat after discovering that voters offered the chance to transform the planet sometimes prefer to discuss rubbish collection. Green leader Zack Polanski lost the Holborn and St Pancras contest to Labour’s Sagal Abdi-Wali, who took 12,292 votes…

News Social

The Right’s Assault on London

The Right’s Assault on London: A Manufactured Crisis Shortly before Christmas, the Conservative MP and former security minister Tom Tugendhat published a lengthy post on X detailing his regular long late-night walks home from parliament. They took him past housing estates and poorer areas. He heard many languages. Some streets were dirty, others smelled of dope but, aside from the odd drunk, he never felt threatened. The capital has its issues, he…

News

London Breaking News Breaks

London Breaking News Breaks Into Light Jog, Stops for Tea London breaking news has announced it will continue breaking at a safe, sensible speed, just ahead of a brisk walk but well behind anything that might spill a drink. Editors confirmed that urgency in the capital now means someone somewhere raised an eyebrow with intent. (Source: BBC News London) At 9:14 this morning, several outlets reported “Developing Situation in North…

News

London News

London News Declares Itself Breaking, Even When Nothing Actually Happened London woke up today to discover that London news is still mostly about London, which experts say is a bold editorial strategy that has been working since 1785. Editors across the capital confirmed that if at least one pigeon looks suspicious in Trafalgar Square, it qualifies as a developing situation. Professor Lionel Briskett of the Institute for Advanced Obviousness says the…

Current Absurdities Political

London Politics

London Politics: A Calm, Sensible City Run Entirely on Meetings London politics is best understood as a long-running performance art piece staged across committee rooms, bicycle lanes, and strongly worded letters that are never read. It looks like government, sounds like policy, and behaves like an argument between flatmates who all pay rent but none of them own a screwdriver. At the centre of the production is the city itself,…