King Charles Dreams of Family Reunion Lasting Longer Than the News Cycle Palace Unveils New Five-Year Plan as Engineers Attempt to Build a Sentence Containing the Words “Harry,” “Meghan,” and “Lunch” Without Triggering a National Incident LONDON — Britain, a nation that once ran the largest empire the world has ever seen, now devotes the bulk of its strategic energy to getting four specific adults to sit at the same…
Lunar New Year Family Dinner Declared Extreme Sport After 800 Million Parents Ask “So… Grandchild When?” BEIJING — The annual Spring Festival migration has once again produced the world’s largest human movement, narrowly beating salmon swimming upstream and LinkedIn users updating job titles simultaneously. This year’s migration clocked 9.03 billion inter-regional passenger trips — a figure so large it required scientists to invent a new unit of measurement called the “overwhelming.” It has also been…
