Culture Food News Relationships Social

Food Divorce

London Husband Orders Pizza, Wife Makes Salad, Relationship Experts Declare Kitchen Officially Separated ‘Food Divorce’ Lets Couples Stay Married While Maintaining Separate Relationships With Dinner Britain has discovered a new threat to marriage that requires neither adultery, gambling nor discovering your husband has secretly invested the pension in cryptocurrency. It is dinner. The emerging practice has been dubbed “food divorce,” describing couples who deliberately cook, order or eat different meals…

Culture Relationships Social

The Marriage I Cherished Had Quietly Moved to Zone 6

The Marriage I Cherished Had Quietly Moved to Zone 6 In London, relationships seldom end with an explosion. They are delayed, rerouted and eventually replaced by a rail replacement bus service. A Modern Love Story, Rerouted Through Clapham LONDON — The marriage described in this Modern Love source reminded me that a London marriage rarely collapses in a single operatic moment. There is no overturned dinner table, no suitcase thrown dramatically into…

Bad Taste Culture Relationships Social

Divorced Women: Most Fought-Over Demographic

London’s Divorced Women Now the Most Fought-Over Demographic in London, Property Agents Confirm They Saw It Coming First By our Marriage & Mortgage Correspondent, filing from a Zone 2 coffee shop where the oat milk costs more than some people’s first weddings London’s dating market has a new most-wanted list, and for once it isn’t the 6-foot, “loves to travel,” suspiciously well-lit man from Clapham. According to absolutely nobody with…

Culture Family Health Relationships

London’s Divorced Women Are Now Officially More Interesting

Clapham Men Confirm Divorced Women Are Now Officially More Marriageable Than Women Who Simply Haven’t Got Round To It Yet By our Marriage & Mortgage Correspondent, filing from a Wetherspoons near Clapham Junction where the men are, as ever, extremely sure of themselves and extremely wrong Divorced Women?  A groundbreaking study conducted entirely inside the heads of three men called Nigel, Trevor and Barry-from-Sales has confirmed what London’s dating scene…

Culture Current Absurdities Lifestyle Relationships Social

London Therapists Warn Couples

Therapists Recommend Couples Stop Calling Grocery Shopping “Quality Time” London Therapists Warn Couples: If You Need a Spreadsheet to Track Your Relationship, It’s Already Over 💂❤️ LONDON. Couples across the capital are reportedly panicking after psychologists published seven subtle relationship “red flags,” prompting thousands of Londoners to wonder whether their marriage has quietly become a flatshare with tax advantages. The advice has ignited debate after experts warned that unhealthy relationships often…

Royals

Charles Give Diana One Star on Yelp

The Crown Reviewed Its Own Marriage and Gave It One Star for Ambience How Britain Dressed Up a Domestic Disaster in Silk, Broadcast It to the World, and Charged for the Souvenir Tin Six Things the Palace Would Prefer You Hadn’t Noticed Britain invented romantic love, then outsourced the actual practice to the aristocracy The wedding cost £30 million; the divorce cost considerably more in every sense Charles reportedly described…

Current Absurdities Royals

Camilla Won.

Camilla Won. She Just Had the Patience to Wait for Everyone Else to Lose. How Britain’s Most Underestimated Woman Outlasted a Fairy Tale, a Global Icon, and the Entire British Press Without Ever Raising Her Voice Five Things History Would Like to Quietly Acknowledge Camilla never gave a single press conference and still won every round Britain spent twenty years booing the wrong person Palace sources confirm she was “load-bearing…