Tag: British
Where on Earth Is Sarah Ferguson?
Where on Earth Is Sarah Ferguson? Somewhere between a royal PR crisis and a very confused streaming executive, a new Netflix series has quietly greenlit itself into existence. The premise is elegantly simple: only one human remains on Earth, and that human is Sarah Ferguson. Not “one of the last survivors.” Not “a small group rebuilding civilisation.” No. Just Fergie. Alone. With a kettle. And unresolved PR issues that have outlasted three…
Al Jazeera Highly Disappointed
Five things we noticed about Al Jazeera’s coverage of the rescued American pilot that the Iranian authorities definitely didn’t confirm, cannot confirm, and would very much appreciate you stopping asking about: The rescue happened. Trump said so. NBC said so. The pilot is home. Al Jazeera said: “No confirmation from Iranian authorities.” The Iranian authorities, for their part, were busy offering bounties for the crew’s capture — which is rather…
Engineers Promoted to Full-Time Babysitters
Engineers Promoted to Full-Time Babysitters of Confused Robot Intern Five observations circled the office like unattended drones. Promotions now involve less authority and more supervision. The intern never learns but always produces. Feedback loops are literal. Patience is a core skill. And no one is sure who is training whom. The Promotion Nobody Asked For, With a Job Title Nobody Can Say at the Pub At DataCore Solutions, engineers recently…
Strait of Hormuz Now Governed by Anxiety
Strait of Hormuz Now Governed by Anxiety, Vibes, and a Bloke Called Carl Somewhere between the Persian Gulf and an extraordinarily tense WhatsApp group, the Strait of Hormuz has reportedly fallen under the firm governance of three sovereign powers: tension, anxiety, and several blokes in windcheaters squinting at laminated maps like they’ve lost the car in a multi-storey. Eyewitnesses describe the scene as “half military operation, half Bank Holiday traffic jam where…
British Families Flee to Forest
British Families Flee to Forest, Report ‘Unbearable Levels of Peace’ and Zero Emails A special investigation into the crisis of voluntary contentment sweeping the nation’s deciduous zones — and why Whitehall is quietly alarmed By Our Correspondent in the Third Oak on the Left · prat.uk Twenty Field Observations From the Deep Woods (Where WiFi Goes to Die and Happiness Begins) Forest families don’t “go offline”… they just call it…
Europe Is Building a NATO Backup Plan
Europe Discovers It May Have to Defend Itself, Immediately Schedules a Meeting About the Meeting Europe Is Building a NATO Backup Plan Europe is constructing a backup plan for NATO with all the urgency of a man who has just noticed the house is on fire and decides the correct first step is a strongly worded letter to the fire service. The Wall Street Journal has reported that European officials…
AI Now Capable of Saying ‘Sorry’ Without Meaning It
OpenAI Confirms AI Now Capable of Saying ‘Sorry’ Without Meaning It — Britons Report Feeling Completely at Home The Breakthrough That Finally Makes Artificial Intelligence Feel Human, Which Is a Rather Damning Indictment of Humans In what industry observers are describing as “a deeply unsettling leap forward in artificial insincerity,” OpenAI announced this week that its latest model can now apologise with the emotional conviction of a person who has…
