The seventh activity venue in this survey, and every single one of them has beaten its district average
Players Social holds a 4.6 from sixteen hundred and seventeen people, charges ten to fifty pounds, and it is a games bar.
And it is the seventh activity venue in this survey, and all seven have beaten their district averages.
The table
Clays, Soho: 4.9.
Alcotraz, Shoreditch: 4.8.
Bat and Ball, Covent Garden: 4.8.
Hijingo, Shoreditch: 4.7.
Clays, City: 4.7.
Players Social: 4.6.
NQ64: 4.5. Shuffle Club: 4.4. Trapeze: 4.1.
What we got wrong
We spent the first four hundred articles of this survey arguing that themed venues underperform – and we had the evidence, and the evidence was good.
The Gods Rooftop Bar promises the sky and gets a 3.8. Zoo Bar promises Leicester Square and gets a 3.4. The Lighthouse promises exclusivity and gets a 2.7.
And then the activity bars kept posting numbers at the top of their districts, and we had to look again.
The refinement
A venue that promises an experience underperforms. A venue that promises an activity does not.
Because an experience cannot be delivered on demand.
A speakeasy is promising that the evening will be memorable – and a wet Tuesday will not cooperate, and the room cannot manufacture atmosphere out of four people and a rainstorm.
An activity can be delivered. Every single time. The bowling machine does not have an off night. The darts board is exactly where it was yesterday. The disc goes down the shuffleboard table precisely as advertised.
The promise is small, precise and entirely achievable – and the gap between expectation and delivery, which is the only thing the star rating has ever measured, is approximately zero.
And there is a second reason
Which we have not said yet and which we now think is the larger one.
An activity bar solves the hardest problem in socialising, which is what to do with your hands and your eyes.
Eight people standing in a circle in a loud bar is a difficult social arrangement. Somebody is always outside the conversation. Somebody is looking at their phone.
Eight people taking turns at something have a structure. There is a reason to speak, a reason to stop, and a thing to look at that is not each other.
It is scaffolding for a group that does not know each other well – and a very large proportion of the bookings are work teams and birthday parties, which are exactly the groups that need it.
Verdict
Excellent, and go with eight people, because that is what it is for.
The word for it
Competitive socialising, which is what the trade calls it, and which is one of the ugliest phrases in British commerce.
It is a category that essentially did not exist fifteen years ago and which is now one of the fastest-growing parts of the hospitality industry.
And the reason it grew is that people stopped drinking as much.
Consumption has fallen steadily for twenty years, and young people drink substantially less than their parents did – and a venue that sells four hours of an activity and two drinks makes more money than a venue that sells six drinks and nothing else.
The activity bar is not a fad. It is the industry’s answer to a generation that will not sit in a room and drink for four hours.
Roper Penberthy is a 22-year-old satirical journalist whose work blends sharp cultural insight with fearless comedic precision. Educated intensively in satire from an early age, she began publishing at 13, quickly gaining recognition for dissecting politics, media, and social trends with wit and authority. Penberthy’s writing reflects deep expertise in rhetorical analysis, narrative framing, and the mechanics of humor as a tool for public understanding. Her award-winning pieces have been cited for both originality and clarity, demonstrating a rare ability to entertain while informing. Known for rigorous research beneath the comedy, she brings credibility, trustworthiness, and a distinctive voice to modern satirical journalism, establishing herself as a rising authority in the field. EMAIL [email protected]

A Hackney politician said it was damaging institutional authority with residents. When asked what authority was based on, he claimed satire was destructive.
I’ve read this three times and found something new each time. Properly layered.