Retatrutide and Romance: A British Tragedy in Several Injections The relationship between Retatrutide and romance has become the most unsettling pharmaceutical love story since someone discovered that statins affect dreams. Somewhere between a lukewarm Greggs sausage roll and the brain’s dopamine receptor, affection has reportedly handed in its notice, cleared its desk, and shuffled off to wait eighteen months for an NHS referral. What the Funny People Are Saying About…
Ofcom: ‘Dear X, Grok Is Undressing Women and Children. This Is Not What We Meant by “Open Source”‘ The letter from Ofcom to X was reportedly “firm but polite,” which in British regulatory language translates to deeply alarmed while apologising for being a bother. The issue at hand was Grok AI‘s troubling habit of generating altered images that removed or sexualised clothing, sometimes involving minors, which regulators described as “not a misunderstanding, but…
London Property News Confirmed to Be Permanently Alarming | Headlines oscillate between bubble warnings and bargain promises
London Crossrail Confirmed to Have Arrived Eventually, Magnificently | The Elizabeth line proves grand projects can be worth the long wait
Weather Report At London: Mostly Grey, Occasionally Right | A weather report at london is among the trickiest on Earth, the capital staging all four seasons before lunch and defeating every meteorologist.
British News Article Announces Breaking Information: “Something Happened Today” | Publication Celebrates Maximum Vagueness as News Reporting
British Rail Announces Trains Will Now Run “When They Feel Like It”: Schedules Abandoned for Spontaneous Service Model | Passengers Celebrate Newfound Flexibility; Chaos Ensues Immediately
London Taxis Now Locked in Eternal Battle With the Ride-Hailing App | The black cab defends its turf against the smartphone upstarts
London Wholesale Markets Where the City Secretly Gets Fed at 4am | Vast hidden markets feed the metropolis while everyone else sleeps
London Properties for Sale Now Priced for Buyers From Another Planet | The eye-watering market leaves ordinary residents merely browsing
Princess Kate Burns More Calories Than Parliament in 24 Hours | Scientists Confirm Royal Achievement Exceeds Annual Legislative Energy Expenditure
British Restaurant Announces New Food Safety Standard: “Trust-Based Hygiene” | Establishment Confident That Customer Trust Replaces Actual Food Safety Practices
London Journalism Now the Beating Heart of a Free and Informed Press | One of the world’s great centres of news and reporting
