Anti-Modernist Conservatism: Glass Facades Are A Confession

Built Since 1965, Built Wrong

Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.

The Anti-Modernist Conservative believes everything built since 1965 is a kind of misunderstanding made of glass, ideally with a depressed lobby and a worse cafe. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from the Society for the Protection of Ancient Buildings and the National Trust.

Twenty Tells: Spotting The Anti-Modernist Conservative On A British High Street

1. Has explained, at length, that brutalism is also structurally a tone.
2. Refers to the Royal Festival Hall the way some men refer to a difficult relative.
3. Holds any new shopping centre is a sort of architectural shrug.
4. Maintains a fantasy in which planning permission becomes a sort of priesthood.
5. Refers to digital signage as the running litter.
6. Treats any glass facade as a personal affront.
7. Maintains a binder of John Betjeman columns.
8. Refers to high streets as the slow autopsy.
9. Holds any town can be improved by a market square and a poet.
10. Has explained, at a wedding, that the church porch is also structurally infrastructure.
11. Refers to internet shopping the way some men refer to draughts.
12. Treats any open-plan office as a kind of soft punishment.
13. Maintains a soft spot for cobblestones, a harder one for paving slabs.
14. Refers to the BBC as the broadcaster that started off well and got lost.
15. Holds any landscape is structurally a small argument for the country.
16. Maintains a fantasy in which the high street is restored, plank by plank.
17. Refers to local pubs as the second cathedral.
18. Treats any roundabout without a flowerbed as evidence of municipal decline.
19. Has explained he is not against new things, only most new things.
20. Believes the country was fundamentally more itself before the M25.

Editor’s Note

If any of this rings a bell, you have wandered into a libertarian conference, a country house weekend, or a Bitcoin meet-up with very strong opinions. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Daily Mash.

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/

Asha Mwangi

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