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Chlorinated Chicken on UK Shelves

The UK Crypto Taxe

Nigel Farage Single-Handedly Rebrands Scotland as ‘New England’

UK Defence Exports Up 4000% – Mostly Peacekeeper Tea Kettles for NATO

Starmer Announces New ‘Optimism Inflation’ – Prices Up, Spirits Up, Confusion Everywhere

Historic Invest-muddles: UK Tops G7 for Investment in Self-Doubt

Thursday January 1, 2026

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Chlorinated Chicken on UK Shelves
The UK Crypto Taxe
Nigel Farage Single-Handedly Rebrands Scotland as ‘New England’
UK Defence Exports Up 4000% – Mostly Peacekeeper Tea Kettles for NATO
Starmer Announces New ‘Optimism Inflation’ – Prices Up, Spirits Up, Confusion Everywhere

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newsthump.com

‘2026 still pretty shit’ warn Australians
‘It just needs to be out of the house by New Year’ insists man eating Chocolate Orange for breakfast
Nation busy making pathetic last-minute attempts at 2025’s New Year’s resolutions
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Today either Tuesday, Friday or Sunday, estimates delirious nation

thedailymash.co.uk

Too posh to push? Fewer men than ever passing kidney stones naturally
We ask you: what are you unsuccessfully giving up this New Year?
Do you look like a cheap whore? A guide for paranoid women going to New Year’s parties
Man watching Hootenanny alone starts wanking to see if it’s possible to sink lower
Midnight f**king ages away when you’re staying up for it with kids

thepoke.com

The internet is cheering the artists pulling out of Kennedy Center gigs after it turned into another Trump vanity project – 21 standing ovations
What’s the most “NPC” thing you’ve seen someone do in real life? – 17 weird behaviours that don’t give main character energy
An ‘anti-woke warrior’ trolled people who dare dress down for air travel and these 17 A++ comebacks were all business class
Liz Truss started wanging on about her ‘experience inside Number 10′ again, and the facepalms were visible from Land’s End to John o’ Groats
This American store’s guidance for rounding prices up or down because of the penny shortage is blowing British minds

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