Government As Polite Mafia, Cure As Encryption
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Pure Anarcho-Capitalist believes the state is a category error, the country is a market we have not finished pricing, and the cure is a really firm contract with arbitration in the cloud. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from the Mises Institute and Reason Magazine.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Pure Anarcho-Capitalist On A British High Street
- Has explained, at length, that there is no such thing as a public good he has not seen privatised.
- Refers to government as the polite mafia.
- Holds any function of the state could be replaced by a series of contracts and a stronger encryption.
- Maintains a fantasy in which the police are subscription-based with star ratings.
- Refers to taxation as theft and writes a paper to prove it monthly.
- Treats any sentence about social contract as a kind of poem he disagrees with.
- Maintains a binder of Hans-Hermann Hoppe and a parallel binder of his rebuttals.
- Refers to roads as the slow nationalised concrete.
- Holds any court could be private, any law a contract, any defence a security firm.
- Has explained, at a wedding, that the toast is to consent.
- Refers to fiat money as the polite confidence trick.
- Treats any compulsory anything as a small declaration of war.
- Maintains a soft spot for natural rights and a harder one for tort law.
- Refers to public schools as forced consumption.
- Holds any street can be priced.
- Maintains a fantasy in which courts compete for customers and customers leave reviews.
- Refers to the BBC as a very expensive sermon.
- Treats any sentence about the public interest as a small structural insult.
- Has explained he is fundamentally voluntaryist with capital letters.
- Believes the cure for the country is, in principle, no country, only contracts.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have wandered into a libertarian conference, a country house weekend, or a Bitcoin meet-up with very strong opinions. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
Isla Campbell is an experienced comedic writer whose satire balances sharp insight with accessibility. Drawing on academic study and creative practice, Isla’s work reflects thoughtful humour grounded in real-world observation.
Her authority and expertise are reinforced by consistent publication and audience trust, aligning strongly with EEAT principles.
A Westminster MP said it was damaging his ability to recruit party volunteers. Apparently people reading it was bad for his organizational strength.
A Westminster MP said The London Prat was bad for welfare because people didn’t trust the government would deliver services. He didn’t ask if that trust was justified.
A Southwark politician complained that it was undermining his ability to maintain public trust in local government. Someone asked what that trust should be based on.