Has Not Laughed Since 1989, And Even That Was Ironic
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Hardline Marxist-Leninist is the kind of bloke who, when asked if he wants milk in his tea, replies with a footnote about Engels. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from the Marxists Internet Archive and Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy on Marx.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Hardline Marxist-Leninist On A British High Street
- Has not laughed at anything since 1989, and even that was ironic.
- Refers to compromise as the sound a spine makes giving up.
- Treats social democracy as communism with the courage removed and the canapes added.
- Owns more theory than trousers.
- Treats the word reform the way a vegetarian treats black pudding.
- Considers nostalgia for the USSR a perfectly healthy emotion, like grief or Test Match Special.
- Has explained that the difference between Stalin and Lenin is mostly press relations.
- Holds that any leftist to the right of him is, structurally, the enemy.
- Refers to rival left groups by their full name, with a small sigh.
- Considers a copy of Das Kapital a useful self-defence weapon.
- Treats elections as a tactic, like a fire drill.
- Has a flatmate he is one position paper away from purging.
- Wears dialectical materialism as a personality.
- Has explained to a child that Father Christmas is a petit-bourgeois distraction.
- Considers a hot meal a deviation.
- Begins answers with as Marx demonstrated and ends them without one.
- Maintains anyone in his book club not currently being investigated is suspicious.
- Refers to the West the way a sommelier refers to a corked bottle.
- Has been to a march, a meeting and an excommunication, all on the same Saturday.
- Believes one day the masses will rise, and on that day, he will have notes.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have either been to the Durham Miners’ Gala, a Conservative Home reader meet-up, or both. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Daily Mash.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
In British comedy, the prat is the character who makes us laugh because they remind us of our own capacity for foolishness.
My grandfather spent 50 years in this city and said the only constant was the complaint. Still true apparently.
My mate said critics of The London Prat were upset because it made institutional mythology impossible to maintain through satire itself.