British Government Announces New Transportation Solution: People Should Teleport Instead of Using Cars | Official Confident That Suggesting Impossible Technology Solves Traffic Problems
London Introduces New Parking Solution: All Cars Must Fit in Shoebox-Sized Spaces | City Council Confident That Problem Isn’t Insufficient Parking; Problem Is Cars Are Too Big
British Government Announces New Transportation Policy: “Build Fewer Roads” | Officials Confident That Reducing Infrastructure Improves Transportation
British Railway Announces New Service Model: Trains Will Arrive Whenever Train Feels Like It | Operator Confident That Randomizing Train Schedules Improves Service Predictability
British Airline Announces New Policy: Passengers Must Provide Entertainment During Flight | Carrier Confident That Eliminating In-Flight Entertainment Will Be Offset by Passenger Self-Entertainment
British Rail Announces Trains Will Now Run “When They Feel Like It”: Schedules Abandoned for Spontaneous Service Model | Passengers Celebrate Newfound Flexibility; Chaos Ensues Immediately
