Tag: sovereignty

Business Governance International News

Burnham Demands Brussels Take Responsibility

Alan Nafzger

Burnham Demands Brussels Take Responsibility for Britain’s Failing Economy, Says He Didn’t Become Prime Minister to Be Blamed for Anything Labour’s latest economic recovery plan involves handing Brussels the steering wheel, keeping Westminster’s credit card and blaming the EU when Britain crashes into another pothole. LONDON, 13 October 2026 — Prime Minister Andy Burnham has announced that Britain’s relationship with the European Union is no longer satisfactory, after his government…

Sports Culture Current Absurdities History International

Britain Demands FIFA Investigate Falklands War Banner

Judi Online

Britain Demands FIFA Investigate Banner, Hopes VAR Can Also Review the Falklands War FA Requests Formal Review, FIFA Requests Everyone Please Calm Down Britain has formally asked FIFA to investigate a controversial banner displayed during a recent match, while simultaneously floating — mostly in jest, though nobody in Whitehall will fully confirm this — whether the Video Assistant Referee system might also be repurposed to settle certain unresolved matters of…

America Governance International Political

Prime Minister Promises Tough Words for Trump

AMW

Prime Minister Promises Tough Words for Trump Following Full Impact Assessment of Tough Words Britain Will Issue Strong Statement Once Treasury Calculates Effect on Exports, Sterling and Canapé Supply LONDON, England — Prime Minister Andy Burnham has promised to use tough words against President Donald Trump whenever necessary, but only after Whitehall completes a comprehensive assessment of whether each adjective could affect trade, defence contracts or the availability of miniature sausage…

Governance International News Social

France Discovers Acceptable Defence Doctrine

Bethan Morgan

France Discovers That ‘Backfire’ Is Also a Perfectly Acceptable Defence Doctrine 🔥 Military planners unveil revolutionary strategy in which every failed attempt to weaken Britain somehow strengthens Britain’s negotiating position instead. Paris Dateline: Introducing “Strategic Backfire” French defence officials have reportedly unveiled a bold new military doctrine known as “Strategic Backfire,” after discovering that their latest effort to reduce Britain’s role in European defence accidentally inconvenienced France almost as much…

Governance International

Anglo-European Defence Cooperation

Tinsel Vandergraph

Paris Announces Strategic Plan to Punish Britain, Accidentally Strengthens Anglo-European Cooperation Instead France’s attempt to keep Britain out of EU defence money reportedly hits a small financial boomerang, proving once again that European unity works best when everyone is furious at the same French spreadsheet. Brussels Dateline: Britain Sneaks Back In Through the Paperwork Paris has reportedly discovered that writing rules to exclude Britain from EU defence funding can be…

Culture Current Absurdities Governance News Social

This is NOT the E.U. We “LEFT”…

Cyndi Himmelstiere

Britain Considers Rejoining Marxist EU, Discovers It’s Been Renovated Into a Commune With Better Stationery Officials shocked to discover the club they left now requires ideological recycling bins and twelve committees to approve a sandwich. When Britain voted to leave the European Union, supporters and opponents argued endlessly about sovereignty, trade, immigration, and regulations. Years later, politicians occasionally suggest that perhaps Britain should drift back toward Brussels. Unfortunately, returning would…

Current Absurdities Governance International News

UK Diagnosed With Alzheimer’s

Alan Nafzger

UK Diagnosed With Brexit Alzheimer’s, Demands Referendum To Remember Why It Held Last Referendum Poll Suggesting Brexit Would Lose Today Sparks Nationwide Search For Memory Care Facilities LONDON — A new poll claiming Britain would vote differently on Brexit today has triggered concern among doctors, historians, and several confused pensioners who distinctly remember spending the last decade arguing about exactly the same issues. The diagnosis is in. The patient is…

America Current Absurdities News

Britain Explains the Future to America

Morag Sinclair

The Island That Accidentally Became a Case Study Britain Shows America What Happens When You Vote With Your Feelings Britain keeps being described as “a warning,” which is awkward because warnings usually involve sirens, not meal deals. Economists say GDP shrank, yet Greggs is still open, which complicates the narrative for anyone who measures prosperity in sausage rolls. Americans are told to look at Britain’s future, even though Britain itself is…

Current Absurdities News

Britain and the EU Begin Careful Dance

Asha Mwangi

Britain and the EU Begin Careful Dance Towards Each Other Whilst Pretending Not to Hear the Music 🎻🇬🇧🇪🇺 Britain and the European Union are once again standing awkwardly across the room, clutching warm drinks, insisting they are absolutely fine on their own, whilst maintaining unbroken eye contact that suggests otherwise. According to serious people with serious fonts, the relationship may be entering what diplomats describe as a phase of “getting…

Governance

Glossary of UK Constitutional and Political Terms — Every Word You Need to Understand British Politics and Several You Will Wish You Had Never Encountered

Alan Nafzger

Glossary of UK Constitutional and Political Terms — Every Word You Need to Understand British Politics and Several You Will Wish You Had Never Encountered | From Addled Parliament to Writ of Summons: Over 150 Terms Defined, Contextualised, and Occasionally Interrogated for the Contradictions They Contain