Tag: MPs

Governance

First Stone Permits Could Close Parliament Until 2097

Carys Evans

The Investigator’s Perspective: Britain’s Political Standards Crisis Meets the World’s Most Exhausting Biblical Background Check WESTMINSTER, LONDON: Parliamentary officials have received an extraordinary proposal requiring every MP to certify personal moral perfection before publicly criticising another politician. The proposal follows renewed interest in John 8:7, which warns against people condemning others while ignoring their own wrongdoing. Sir Geoffrey Bellamy, chairman of the newly established Parliamentary Stone Allocation Working Group, described…

Governance News

British Council Owes £197 Million, MPs Suggest Not Paying

Emily Cartwright

Debt Becomes Cultural Diplomacy WESTMINSTER, London — British politicians have found a financial instrument so powerful that every household in the country will want one. It’s called a loan you don’t have to repay. British Council Government Debt: How It Reached £197 Million The British Council, which promotes British culture and English-language education overseas, owes the government approximately £197 million. Parliament’s Public Accounts Committee now wants ministers to explore converting…

Governance

Commons Committee Spends Four Months Confirming That Women May Wear Shorts and Comedians May Tell Jokes at the Same Time

Isabel Navarro

MPs conclude after hearing from forty-one witnesses that two freedoms can coexist, then ask for a further report on how. LONDON, 17 October 2026 – A House of Commons select committee published an interim finding on Friday that adults in Britain are free to choose their gym clothing and that comedians are free to tell jokes, and that these two liberties do not appear to interfere with each other in…

Political News

George Galloway By-Election: Candidate Runs for Parliament Without Entering Britain

Harriet Collins

Workers Party leader unveils remote representation, in which the candidate enjoys all the campaigning and none of the constituents LONDON, ENGLAND – George Galloway is contesting the Holborn and St Pancras by-election without setting foot in Britain, introducing an innovative electoral model that could prove instantly popular with voters across the country. The Workers Party leader has run his campaign from overseas, relying on activists to canvass on the ground,…

Culture Governance

MPs Demand Pension Funds “Buy British”

Fiona MacLeod

MPs Demand Pension Funds “Buy British” While Their Own Fund Invests 98.5% Everywhere Else on Earth By The London Prat, Hypocrisy & Portfolio Management Desk Members of Parliament have spent the better part of two years lecturing the nation’s pension funds about the patriotic duty of investing in British business, all while their own £855.5 million pension fund holds a heroic 1.5% in UK equities. The remaining 98.5% is, presumably, out enjoying…

Political Governance News Social

Britain’s New Guide to Political Debate

Isla Campbell

Keep Calm and Carry a Panic Button: Britain’s New Guide to Political Debate By The London Prat Political Desk — filed from a secure, undisclosed constituency surgery with reinforced glass and a very calm receptionist Britain, the nation that gave the world the filibuster, the stiff upper lip, and the sentence “with the greatest respect,” has quietly upgraded its national pastime. Where once a disgruntled voter might write a strongly…

News Social

Why Pubs Make Sense

Morag Sinclair

Why Pubs Make More Sense Than Most Governments A Comparative Study of Leadership, Accountability, and Last Orders Clear Leadership Structures: Who’s Pulling the Pints? Pubs have clear leadership. You know who’s in charge because they’re standing behind the bar, controlling the taps, and giving you that look that says they’ve heard your excuse before. Governments often can’t identify who’s in charge without consulting three ministers, a permanent secretary, and someone’s memoirs. Instant…