Tag: momentum

Culture News

Labour Party Parasites

Hannah Miller

Labour Sends Party to Veterinarian After Strategist Discovers Colony of Political Parasites Living in the Manifesto Experts Recommend Deworming, Strong Tea, and a Quiet Read of Keith Joseph’s Collected Speeches LONDON — Alarm spread through Labour’s senior offices this week after a party strategist described hard-left candidates as “parasites,” accidentally triggering what historians believe to be the first medical emergency ever diagnosed during a policy awayday in a Travelodge conference room in…

Business Culture Current Absurdities International

London Shodokan Aikido

Isla Campbell

London’s Shodokan Instructor Subdues Violent Assailant Using Balance, Timing And Devastatingly Polite Apology Shodokan Aikido: Ancient Martial Art Offers Rare Opportunity To Be Thrown Across London Without Involving A Landlord LONDON, England – The City of London Shodokan Aikido club has reportedly become one of the capital’s fastest-growing centres for teaching residents how to remain calm while another human being grabs their wrist, disrupts their balance, and sends them toward…

Business Current Absurdities News Technology

Labour vs. Elon Musk’s Success

Tinsel Vandergraph

Labour MPs Demand Elon Musk Be Made An Intellectual Eunuch Before He Builds Another Rocket Socialist Backbenchers Warn That Unchecked Human Achievement Is A Hate Crime Against Mediocrity LONDON — A cross-party coalition of Labour MPs, three Momentum activists, and one very passionate man who lives above a wholefood cooperative in Hackney gathered this week to demand that Elon Musk be, in their words, “intellectually reined in, creatively neutered, and made…