Manchester City To London: The Great North-South Migration

Manchester City To London: The Great North-South Migration

The manchester city to london journey carries northerners south into a capital they are more or less obliged to find overpriced and standoffish.

MANCHESTER – Travel observers have confirmed that the Manchester city to London journey carries northerners south down one of the country’s busiest lines, into a capital they are more or less contractually obliged to find overpriced and standoffish.

Manchester City To London: A Journey Steeped In Friendly Suspicion

The well-trodden route, the Bureau of North-South Relations notes, connects a proud northern city that prizes warmth, value and plain speaking to a southern capital it regards, with deep affection, as expensive, frantic and a bit full of itself.

“A Mancunian makes the Manchester city to London trip braced for disappointment,” said a spokesperson for the Institute of Regional Rivalries. “They expect the coffee to cost a fortune, the people to avoid eye contact, and a pint to require a small mortgage. London duly delivers on all three. The visitor then has a wonderful time anyway, returns north, and tells everyone it was dreadful and far too dear, which is the correct and traditional thing to say.”

Making The Manchester City To London Trip

The journey runs via operators detailed at National Rail and Avanti West Coast, arriving in the capital covered by Visit London.

A survey by the Bureau found that 84 percent of those making the Manchester city to London trip complain about London prices within an hour of arrival, and that the same 84 percent quietly enjoy the visit enormously.

“The grumbling is part of the tradition,” the spokesperson explained. “A northerner who did not complain about London prices would be cause for genuine concern.”

The waiters, impeccably trained, will pour, replenish and recommend with serene grace, and should a guest cheerfully insist on calling the whole affair high tea, they will smile, nod, and bring more scones, which settles the matter entirely. The Bureau confirmed the Manchester city to London journey remains one of the country’s busiest routes, ferrying proud northerners into a capital they will publicly disparage and privately rather love, as is right and proper.

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