Culture International Tourism

British Tourists Shocked

British Tourists Shocked To Discover Spain Contains Spanish People LONDON — A delegation of British holidaymakers returned from the Costa del Sol this week in a state of bewildered outrage after discovering that Spain — the country they had visited — was, in several unmistakable respects, Spanish. “Nobody told us,” said Keith Armitage, 54, of Cheshire, who spent eleven days in Torremolinos and found the experience “lovely but a bit…

Business Culture Social Tourism

Entree Battersea Restaurants

Entree Battersea Entree Battersea Named London’s Most Expensive Way To Discover You Still Like Toast Battersea Restaurant Introduces Revolutionary Concept Of Charging £14 For Potatoes Entree Battersea Customers Report Enjoying Food, Financial Regret, And Mild Confusion Local Man Finishes Three-Course Meal, Immediately Applies For Second Mortgage Entree Battersea Chef Wins Award For Making Carrots Feel Emotionally Important Restaurant Patrons Praise Tiny Portions For Their Commitment To Sustainability Battersea Diners Amazed…

International Tourism

Eiffel Tower Closed

Eiffel Tower Closed After Locals Declare It ‘Emotionally Exhausting’ PARIS — The Eiffel Tower was briefly closed this week after local residents filed a formal complaint describing the landmark as “too visible” and “trying too hard.” The Tower That Wouldn’t Take a Hint The complaint, signed by over 2,000 Parisians, argued that the tower’s constant presence creates “architectural fatigue” and “unnecessary enthusiasm.” Residents near the Champ de Mars described waking…

Business Current Absurdities Social Tourism

London Commuter Pays £8.40 For Coffee

London Commuter Pays £8.40 For Coffee, Immediately Applies For Small Business Loan To Afford Biscuit LONDON — A man named Daniel Forsythe, 34, of Clapham, paid eight pounds and forty pence for a flat white on Tuesday morning at a coffee shop near Waterloo station that he had never previously entered and will never enter again. The coffee was, by his own assessment, fine. Not transcendent. Not life-altering. Fine. The bean…