Reports

America’s Largest Warship Lost at Sea

America’s Largest Warship Has Been Lost at Sea for Eleven Months and the Pentagon Is Handing Out Plaques “I’ve been on longer stretches — the time I was made to wait in a Sainsbury’s queue for forty minutes counts, surely.” — Jack Dee “The Americans say the crew shows ‘resilience.’ That’s the HR word for ‘we’ve misplaced your return flight and we’re not sorry.’” — Frankie Boyle “At eleven months, that’s not…

International

Strait of Hormuz Renamed Strait of Mood Swings

Strait of Hormuz Renamed Strait of Mood Swings as Oil Traders Enter Group Therapy Twenty Percent of Global Oil Supply Now Flows Through a Body of Water Governed Entirely by Feelings The International Hydrographic Organization received an informal petition this week from a coalition of commodity traders, shipping insurers, and at least one hedge fund manager who described himself in the submission as “clinically exhausted” — requesting that the Strait…