Working Better Before Postcodes, Maypoles Are Back
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Feudal Revivalist believes the country was working better before it had postcodes, and any large social problem could be solved by giving it a lord, a manor, and a maypole. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from Britannica on feudalism and the Historical Association.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Feudal Revivalist On A British High Street
- Has explained, at length, that the manor system had its merits.
- Refers to property the way some men refer to fields.
- Holds any conflict can be settled, in principle, by a long letter and a duel cancelled at dawn.
- Maintains a fantasy in which the country is once again subdivided into honours.
- Refers to the National Health Service as a sort of secular monastery.
- Treats any new law that does not mention chattels as suspect.
- Maintains a binder of essays on the longue duree.
- Refers to hierarchy as the only honest geometry.
- Holds any village can be improved by a benevolent baron.
- Has explained, at a wedding, that the toast is to the manor.
- Refers to social mobility as the long, restless theatre.
- Treats any modern town hall as a sort of usurpation.
- Maintains a soft spot for the longbow and a harder one for the maypole.
- Refers to peasant uprisings the way historians refer to weather.
- Holds any council can be improved by a sealed scroll.
- Maintains a fantasy in which the country has a baron of the M40.
- Refers to the working day as the natural rhythm of bells.
- Treats any hospital that does not have a patron saint as a sort of accident.
- Has explained he is not in favour of feudalism, exactly, but of feudalism’s manners.
- Believes the country is fundamentally just a kingdom on an off day.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have wandered into a libertarian conference, a country house weekend, or a Bitcoin meet-up with very strong opinions. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
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