The Modern World Is A Clerical Error
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Traditionalist Reactionary believes the modern world is a clerical error, the cure is sherry, and the appendix is a long quote from Roger Scruton over Stilton. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from The Critic and Britannica on conservatism.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Traditionalist Reactionary On A British High Street
- Has explained, at length, that modernity is a draft.
- Refers to the Renaissance the way some men refer to a slightly racy aunt.
- Holds any policy is improved by being older than him.
- Maintains a fantasy in which the country wakes up in 1860 and asks for tea.
- Refers to the Enlightenment as the loud chapter.
- Treats any new typography as evidence of cultural decline.
- Maintains a binder of letters to The Times he has not yet sent.
- Refers to the Anglican choral tradition as the spine.
- Holds any reform should be tested for politeness, then for Victorian compatibility.
- Has explained, at a wedding, that the toast is to the long, slow afternoon.
- Refers to mass democracy the way some men refer to a noisy neighbour.
- Treats any new building under the height of a cathedral as suspect.
- Maintains a soft spot for hand-pressed paper.
- Refers to T S Eliot, Edmund Burke, and the Book of Common Prayer as our consultants.
- Holds any country worth living in has a poet laureate, a librarian, and a slightly disappointed clergyman.
- Maintains a fantasy in which Radio 3 plays only string quartets.
- Refers to handwriting as the proper interface.
- Treats any politician without a footnote as a sort of soft assistant manager.
- Has explained he is not anti-progress, he is pro-Tuesday.
- Believes the cure for the country is silence, broadly applied.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have wandered into a libertarian conference, a country house weekend, or a Bitcoin meet-up with very strong opinions. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
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The thing about good writing is you feel the exhaustion. This is written by someone tired of explaining.
The layer of specific knowledge here could only come from someone who’s read way too many government documents or attended way too many meetings. Both indicate serious distress.