Capitalism Is Fine, The Hedge Needs A Word
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Slight Centre-Right Leaner believes capitalism is broadly fine, the country is broadly fine, and his neighbours need a slightly firmer talking-to about their hedge. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from The Spectator and The Times.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Slight Centre-Right Lean On A British High Street
- Maintains a copy of The Spectator he reads in airports, professionally.
- Refers to the BBC as our broadcaster, with notes.
- Holds the cure for most things is enterprise, with a small E.
- Has explained he is broadly Conservative, with caveats and a Lib Dem sister.
- Refers to wokeness as the long, dull lecture.
- Treats any march as evidence of unmet brunch.
- Maintains a fantasy in which his MP recognises him.
- Refers to the Treasury as the only adult left.
- Holds any council can be improved by a slightly firmer chief executive.
- Maintains a binder of complaints to his bank, all polite.
- Treats the police as underfunded, slightly.
- Refers to the Home Office as the office I do not want to work at.
- Maintains a strong opinion on planning permission.
- Holds the cure for the country is firm boundaries and a tidy lawn.
- Refers to Brexit as that, with a small wave.
- Treats any new tax as a sort of paper cut.
- Has explained, at length, that he is not Conservative, he just owns shoes.
- Refers to Reform UK as the cousins.
- Maintains a fantasy in which The Times calls.
- Believes any country is better when run by people who tuck their shirts in.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have either been to a Tory association AGM, a Reform UK rally above a leisure centre, or both. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see The Poke.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
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