Politics Is A Delivery Plan, Ideology Is The Pothole
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat file this dispatch from the British political menagerie.
The Pragmatic Centrist believes any problem can be solved with a steering group, a Spotify playlist, and a slightly tepid lunch from Pret. Editor Alan Nafzger of the Editor’s Desk at prat.uk presents the field guide, with help from the Institute for Government and The King’s Fund.
Twenty Tells: Spotting The Pragmatic Centrist On A British High Street
- Maintains a soft spot for the word stakeholder.
- Refers to ideology as the thing that gets in the way of getting things done.
- Holds any reform should be slightly disappointing to all sides.
- Has explained, at length, that he is not boring, he is functional.
- Refers to Whitehall as the old workshop.
- Treats a roundtable as a sort of fitness class.
- Maintains a fantasy in which his deck is well received.
- Refers to political philosophy as a flavour, not a meal.
- Holds any cause is improved by a delivery plan.
- Has explained vision is fine, in moderation.
- Refers to ministers as project sponsors.
- Treats a Gantt chart as a kind of national poem.
- Maintains a strong opinion on biros.
- Refers to elections as the world’s most honest survey.
- Holds the country is better when everyone is mildly disappointed.
- Maintains a binder titled small wins.
- Treats passion as a presentation tool.
- Refers to Twitter as the noisy kitchen.
- Has explained he is not centrist by belief but by method.
- Believes the future is meeting, lunch, meeting, biscuit.
Editor’s Note
If any of this rings a bell, you have either been to a Tory association AGM, a Reform UK rally above a leisure centre, or both. More dispatches at govna.uk and the parent site prat.uk. For a second opinion that is also wrong, see NewsThump.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/category/politics/
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