Tag: policy

Culture Bad Taste Business Governance Health

Britain Gives Disabled People Independence

Dr. Ingrid Gustafsson, Ph.D.

Britain Gives Disabled People Independence, Provided They Don’t Attempt Anything Reckless Like Leaving Britain Disabled Britons discover that freedom of movement remains fully available, subject to postcode, paperwork and somebody called Martin approving Tenerife The British social-care system has apparently developed an exciting new definition of independence: you may live independently, choose independently and make adult decisions independently, provided none of those decisions involves an airport. A Guardian investigation by Frances…

Business Culture Governance International

UK Asks to Join ‘Made in Europe’ Scheme

Dr. Ingrid Gustafsson, Ph.D.

UK Asks to Join ‘Made in Europe’ Scheme, Brussels Politely Points at Brexit Receipt Britain Discovers Leaving Europe and Leaving the European Union Are Two Entirely Different Engineering Problems Britain has opened another fascinating chapter in its post-Brexit relationship with the European Union by asking Brussels not to treat the United Kingdom too much like a country that went through several years of constitutional convulsions specifically to become a country…

Culture Bad Taste Current Absurdities Governance Lifestyle

Trans Woman Follows Men’s-Toilet Policy

Charlotte Whitmore

Trans Woman Follows Men’s-Toilet Policy Guidance, Britain Discovers Policy Also Comes With Eyewitness Demonstration Bathroom Culture War Reaches Logical Conclusion: Everyone Uncomfortable, Nobody Allowed to Wash Their Hands in Peace Britain’s long-running national effort to make absolutely everything more complicated has finally reached the public toilet, transforming what was once a three-minute biological errand into a seminar on statutory interpretation, personal dignity, privacy, architecture and whether anybody remembers where the…

News Governance Social

Andy Burnham Promises to Fix Britain

Alan Nafzger

Andy Burnham Promises to Fix Britain Using the Same PowerPoint That Worked in Manchester Mayor Confirms National Rollout of Slide Deck That Once Fixed a Bus Route Andy Burnham has announced plans to solve Britain’s housing crisis, transport gridlock, and general sense of civic despair using, in his own words, “the exact same PowerPoint deck” that revolutionised bus franchising in Greater Manchester, a claim that has been met with equal…

Current Absurdities Governance Social

Britain’s New Justice Policy

Yasmina Khan

Britain Unveils Bold New Justice Policy: If You Kill a Police Officer, You Might Get Off by Wednesday By The London Prat Political Desk In a stunning display of British innovation — the same spirit that gave the world the queue, the lukewarm cup of tea, and the phrase “mustn’t grumble” — the government has confirmed that two men convicted in the death of a police officer may be released…

Culture Business Current Absurdities

New Economic Strategy

Emily Cartwright

Government Announces New Economic Strategy: Rename Every Problem “Growth” Until Investors Relax Treasury Unveils Bold New Vocabulary Instead of Bold New Policy In what insiders are calling the most significant rebrand since Marathon became Snickers, the Treasury has confirmed that, going forward, every economic indicator — good, bad, or catastrophically flat — will simply be referred to as “growth,” in the hope that investors, much like toddlers, can be soothed…