Education Culture Current Absurdities

University Student Procrastination: Cambridge Confirms Students Delay Work, Investigation Pending

Landmark research finds undergraduates avoid hard assignments by doing literally everything else, including cleaning the oven CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND – Researchers have identified procrastination as a major obstacle to university students’ academic performance, giving scientific confirmation to something every lecturer has suspected since the invention of homework. A study of more than 65,000 US students found that procrastination was widely reported as a significant academic problem, according to The Guardian. Researcher…

Culture Political Social

Minimum Intelligence Required to Vote for ANY British Political Party

Scientists Discover Minimum Intelligence Required to Vote for Every British Political Party Laboratory Mouse Given Increasing Quantities of Human Brain Tissue Eventually Spoils Ballot, Moves to Spain and Refuses to Discuss Politics Over Dinner Cambridge Scientists Begin Historic Political Intelligence Experiment LONDON – British scientists have announced a breakthrough in political neuroscience after determining exactly how many functioning human brain cells are required before a laboratory mouse becomes dissatisfied with…