Tag: royal scandal

Culture History Royals

Princess Margaret May Have Suffered From Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Camden Rose

Princess Margaret May Have Suffered From Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Royal Historians Discover Queen Mother Believed Pregnancy Was No Reason to Interrupt Happy Hour “Well, That Explains a Lot,” Says Britain, as Buckingham Palace Insists Royal Babies Were Traditionally Marinated Rather Than Delivered LONDON — A new biography of Princess Margaret has raised the possibility that the late royal had fetal alcohol syndrome, and historians have responded by asking whether Buckingham…

Culture News Royals

Sarah Ferguson Lectures Six-Year-Old Eugenie

Alan Nafzger

Sarah Ferguson Lectures Six-Year-Old Eugenie About Making Terrible Life Choices, Apparently Forgetting She Married Prince Andrew Princess Eugenie’s childhood complaint about uncomfortable shoes exposes the greatest contradiction in royal parenting: a family with centuries of terrible decisions believes it is qualified to offer advice. LONDON — The British monarchy has survived wars, divorces, abdications, financial scandals and Prince Andrew. But according to a parenting anecdote HELLO! magazine revisited on 10…

Entertainment Royals

Sarah Ferguson Returning to Britain

Carys Evans

Sarah Ferguson Eyes “Most Incredible Comeback Yet,” Frank Sinatra’s Estate Demands Royalty Payments Former duchess reportedly considers returning to Britain, repairing relations with King Charles and telling “her side” after discovering public silence cannot be monetised LONDON, ENGLAND — Sarah Ferguson is reportedly considering what one royal commentator has called her “most incredible” comeback yet, potentially involving a return to Britain, an attempt to rebuild relations with King Charles and…

Culture Royals

Prince Andrew’s Royal Secrets

AMW

Prince Andrew’s Emergency Royal Secrets Menu: The Alleged Leverage List Nobody Asked For Palace insiders say Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor may possess a vault of embarrassing royal information and is rumoured to consider using it as leverage to avoid further legal jeopardy. According to Wikipedia’s exhaustively updated timeline, Andrew was arrested in February 2026 on suspicion of misconduct in public office and released under investigation — which, in palace language, translates roughly…

Culture Current Absurdities News Social

Wood Farm Welcomes Its Favorite Celebrity

Fiona MacLeod

Wood Farm Welcomes Its Favorite Neighborhood Celebrity, Finally Someone Interesting In a shocking outbreak of hospitality, residents near Sandringham have reportedly begun preparing casseroles, lawn chairs, and commemorative tea towels in anticipation of the arrival of Prince Andrew, who is expected to stay at Wood Farm while renovations occur elsewhere on the estate. The original rumor claimed locals were “uneasy” and “appalled.” Residents clarified that what journalists heard was actually: “uneasy about how much cake…

Current Absurdities International News

Prince Andrew Moving to Texas

Lotte Heidenreich

Palace Confirms Prince Andrew Has Chosen Freedom, Fried Cactus, and Loving County, Texas Buckingham Palace confirmed this week that Prince Andrew has decided the only sensible response to modern royal life is to move to West Texas, purchase a hat large enough to be seen from space, and begin a new chapter as a cowboy in Loving County. The Palace statement stressed that “every care is being taken,” which in royal language means…

Culture Royals

London’s Celebrity Nightclubs

Alan Nafzger

Prince Andrew Banned from Every Celebrity Nightclub, Now Forced to Party with Actual Commoners London Nightclubs Install Revolutionary Security System: “No Former Dukes Named Andrew” LONDON — Britain’s nightlife industry has unveiled what security experts are calling the most advanced social filtering technology since velvet ropes were invented: a simple but effective rule posted at the doors of elite establishments across London reading, “No Former Dukes Named Andrew.” The policy…

Business News

Royal Real Estate

Aishwarya Rao

Royal Real Estate and the Miracle of Coincidental Millions How a Duke Accidentally Became a Case Study in Global Finance, Offshore Optimism, and the Magical Thinking of Due Diligence There are many ways to make money in modern Britain. You can invent an app, sell artisanal toast, or, if you are Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, simply sell a house to the right person at the right moment and trust that the money arrives…

News Royals

Commander Mountbatten-Windsor

Harper Thames

Commander, Formerly Known As Prince A Royal Rebrand Attempts To Sail Past Reality LONDON, or at least the emotional idea of London—the one that exists somewhere between a drizzle and a sigh—has woken to news that Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, a man once addressed with trumpets, liveried staff, and furniture more valuable than a semi-detached house in Croydon, is preparing a bold new rebrand. He now wishes to re-enter society under the…

News Royals

Royal Family News

Harriet Collins

This piece draws from actual January 2025 royal family news, including King Charles hosting a film premiere at Windsor Castle for his documentary “Finding Harmony,” declining public support for the monarchy among younger Britons, renewed calls for slavery reparations, and Princess Charlotte’s consistent hairstyle choices at public appearances. Royal Reportage circa January 30, 2026 In the great cradle of pomp and pleading—Britain’s royal circus—things are spinning faster than Prince Edward’s…