Tag: royal family satire

Culture News Royals

Sarah Ferguson Lectures Six-Year-Old Eugenie

Alan Nafzger

Sarah Ferguson Lectures Six-Year-Old Eugenie About Making Terrible Life Choices, Apparently Forgetting She Married Prince Andrew Princess Eugenie’s childhood complaint about uncomfortable shoes exposes the greatest contradiction in royal parenting: a family with centuries of terrible decisions believes it is qualified to offer advice. LONDON — The British monarchy has survived wars, divorces, abdications, financial scandals and Prince Andrew. But according to a parenting anecdote HELLO! magazine revisited on 10…

Culture News Royals Social

William and Kate Confirm They Share a Bed

Alan Nafzger

William and Kate Confirm They Share a Bed, Nation Relieved Monarchy Still Producing Basic Human Behaviour Future king reportedly sleeps beside his wife and beneath a cocker spaniel whose constitutional authority appears absolute Royal Couple Sleeps Together in Stunning Break From Centuries of Aristocratic Avoidance LONDON — Britain awoke reassured today after learning that Prince William and Catherine, Princess of Wales, apparently share a bed, confirming that the future king and queen…

Culture News Royals

In Defense of Prince Andrew

Alan Nafzger

In Defense of Prince Andrew: The Man Everyone Has Already Convicted Without a Jury, a Judge, or Apparently a Functioning Memory By “An Observer of Unfashionable Opinions and Royal Weather Patterns” There is something deeply comforting about a national villain. It simplifies things beautifully. You take a complicated human being, sand down every inconvenient contradiction, buff the rough edges into something shiny and damning, and present him to the public…

Culture Royals

Prince Andrew’s Royal Secrets

AMW

Prince Andrew’s Emergency Royal Secrets Menu: The Alleged Leverage List Nobody Asked For Palace insiders say Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor may possess a vault of embarrassing royal information and is rumoured to consider using it as leverage to avoid further legal jeopardy. According to Wikipedia’s exhaustively updated timeline, Andrew was arrested in February 2026 on suspicion of misconduct in public office and released under investigation — which, in palace language, translates roughly…

America Current Absurdities Social

Megan’s Goal Is to Become Queen

Harper Thames

“Megan’s Goal Is to Become Queen,” Insider Claims — World Responds With Appropriate Level of Confusion EXCLUSIVE INSIGHTFUL REPORT Montecito, California — In what is being described by experts as “a bold plan that makes total sense only if you squint real hard,” sources say Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, is quietly pursuing the crown — not metaphorically, not symbolically, but literally. Her goal, according to insiders, is to be crowned queen. Not…

News Royals

Royal Rumble in the Tea Room

Camden Rose

Royal Rumble in the Tea Room: The Last Hobnob, the Collar Grab, and the Constitutional Crisis Nobody Ordered Five Observations Before We Begin 👑 In Britain, even a fistfight must first be approved by the Tea Committee. Royal arguments are measured not in punches, but in passive-aggressive eyebrow raises. The phrase “gentlemanly tussle” sounds like something Downton Abbey would charge admission for. If two princes fight in a palace and…