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Category: Sports

Americans Find Eileen Gu Guilty of “Treason”
America News Sports

Americans Find Eileen Gu Guilty of “Treason”

Alan NafzgerFebruary 17, 2026February 17, 2026

Treason Debate Lasts Longer Than Winter Olympics Itself Athletes Asked To Declare Treason Status Alongside Drug Testing The Winter Games were expected to feature skiing, skating, and that one sport where a person aggressively sweeps ice like they are late for company.…

Personal Trainers in London
Culture News Sports

Personal Trainers in London

AMWFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Personal Trainers in London UK: The Only People Who Charge £90 An Hour To Yell “Breathe” London has many historic institutions. The monarchy. The Tube. That pigeon in Trafalgar Square who has seniority over three prime ministers. And then, towering…

Swimming in the Thames
Culture Sports

Swimming in the Thames

Alan NafzgerFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

London Opens First Thames Wild Swimming Spot, Immediately Regrets Teaching The River About Humans Citizens Urged To Experience Nature While Nature Files Complaint The City of London this week unveiled its first official wild swimming area in the River Thames, a…

Olympic Ice Dancing Declared A “Sport”
Culture Featured News Sports Today

Olympic Ice Dancing Declared A “Sport”

Charlotte WhitmoreFebruary 14, 2026February 14, 2026

Olympic Ice Dancing Declared A “Sport” After Judges Successfully Interpret Feelings MILAN, ITALY – The Winter Olympics once again reminded humanity that some competitions are decided by measurable facts like speed, distance, and physics… and others are decided by vibes, aura, and whether…

Jim Ratcliffe Sees Perfectly Well…
Culture International Sports

Jim Ratcliffe Sees Perfectly Well…

Alan NafzgerFebruary 12, 2026February 12, 2026

Manchester United co-owner says UK has been ‘colonized by immigrants’ Five Quick Observations Before Kickoff ⚽ Manchester United’s bench has so many passports it needs its own customs queue at Old Trafford. If 69.5 million becomes 70 million after rounding,…

Marxists Boo JD Vance’s Children at Winter Olympics
News Sports

Marxists Boo JD Vance’s Children at Winter Olympics

Aishwarya RaoFebruary 8, 2026February 8, 2026

Marxists Boo JD Vance at Winter Olympics, Mistake Opening Ceremony for Required Struggle Session European Marxists Confuse Athletic Competition with Political Theater The Winter Olympics in Milan briefly paused the celebration of human endurance, national pride, and people voluntarily sliding down mountains…

Adidas UK Store
Featured News Sports

Adidas UK Store

Alan NafzgerFebruary 4, 2026February 5, 2026

Adidas UK Accidentally Sends Running Shoes to the Winter Olympics, Confirms Speed Is Now a Snow Sport ❄️👟 This piece examines the very real vulnerabilities in global supply chain operations and corporate logistics. While this particular Adidas incident is almost…

London Football Fans
News Sports

London Football Fans

Violet WoolfJanuary 24, 2026January 24, 2026

London Football Fans Demand VAR Review of Their Own Life Choices London football fans have reached a stage of emotional maturity previously thought impossible, or at least postponed until retirement. After years of demanding VAR reviews for offsides measured in…

Arsenal FC: Football as a Moral Framework
Sports

Arsenal FC: Football as a Moral Framework

Violet WoolfDecember 23, 2025January 24, 2026

Arsenal FC: Football as a Moral Framework | A Club That Believes It Is Right

Hendon FC: Football With Institutional Memory
Sports

Hendon FC: Football With Institutional Memory

Fiona MacLeodJanuary 23, 2026

Hendon FC: Football With Institutional Memory | A Club That Remembers Everything

What London Futball Means to the City
News Sports

What London Futball Means to the City

Alan NafzgerJanuary 23, 2026

London Futball Becomes City’s Primary Source of Weather Complaints London used to complain about the weather because it was there. Rain existed. Wind happened. Grey was a lifestyle choice. Then Futball arrived and said, no, no, this is about us…

Walton & Hersham FC: Football With Momentum
Sports

Walton & Hersham FC: Football With Momentum

Carys EvansJanuary 21, 2026

Walton & Hersham FC: Football With Momentum | A Club on the Move

Northwood FC: Football Without Drama
Sports

Northwood FC: Football Without Drama

Harper ThamesJanuary 21, 2026

Northwood FC: Football Without Drama | A Club That Values Order

Balham FC: Football Powered by Flat Whites and Optimism
Sports

Balham FC: Football Powered by Flat Whites and Optimism

Violet WoolfJanuary 20, 2026

Balham FC: Football Powered by Flat Whites and Optimism | A Club With Brunch Energy

Goals Soccer Centres: Football as a Utility
Sports

Goals Soccer Centres: Football as a Utility

Hannah MillerJanuary 20, 2026

Goals Soccer Centres: Football as a Utility | A Brand That Monetised Five-a-Side

Tooting & Mitcham United FC: Football That Refuses to Vanish
Sports

Tooting & Mitcham United FC: Football That Refuses to Vanish

JunglepussyJanuary 19, 2026

Tooting & Mitcham United FC: Football That Refuses to Vanish | A Club Older Than Most Arguments

World Taxi Olympics
News Sports

World Taxi Olympics

Alan NafzgerJanuary 18, 2026January 18, 2026

World Taxi Organization: Taxi Olympics Coming to Los Angeles: Global Meters Set to Glory The Taxi Olympics are the only sporting event where the phrase “I know a faster way” is considered both a threat and a promise. Los Angeles…

London.rodeo Promises “Authentic Rodeo,” Delivers a QR Code and a Hat You’re Afraid to Sweat In
News Sports

London.rodeo Promises “Authentic Rodeo,” Delivers a QR Code and a Hat You’re Afraid to Sweat In

JunglepussyJanuary 15, 2026January 17, 2026

London.rodeo Promises “Authentic Rodeo,” Delivers a QR Code and a Hat You’re Afraid to Sweat In | Nothing says rugged like dry-clean-only denim

SOHO Traders Discover Cattle: London.rodeo Lets You Invest in Ranches Without Ever Meeting a Cow
News Sports

SOHO Traders Discover Cattle: London.rodeo Lets You Invest in Ranches Without Ever Meeting a Cow

Chelsea BloomJanuary 15, 2026January 17, 2026

SOHO Traders Discover Cattle: London.rodeo Lets You Invest in Ranches Without Ever Meeting a Cow | The cleanest ranch in history has a checkout page

New Site Sells Rodeo Tickets and Ranch Shares, So Your Portfolio Can Smell Like Leather and Delusion
News Sports

New Site Sells Rodeo Tickets and Ranch Shares, So Your Portfolio Can Smell Like Leather and Delusion

Bethan MorganJanuary 15, 2026January 17, 2026

New Site Sells Rodeo Tickets and Ranch Shares, So Your Portfolio Can Smell Like Leather and Delusion | Now you can diversify into dust, drama, and denim

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RSS newsthump.com
  • Nation still pretending to like lemon juice and sugar
  • Women finally admit that a man’s ability to ‘flip pancake’ ranks higher than ‘muscles’
  • Millions looking forward to celebrating that time Jesus and his disciples ate pancakes or whatever
  • Yorkshire celebrating Valentine’s Day now that cards and flowers are 50% off
  • Starmer performs U-turn on willingness to perform U-turns
RSS thedailymash.co.uk
  • Mum sad you’re single on Pancake Day
  • It’s time to start hating the Greens now: A handy guide
  • Real appeal of Winter Olympics is ever-present threat of serious injury
  • Maybe I should stop saying shit before it’s checked out legally, says lawyer
  • Man advised not to discuss basic human rights in front of girlfriend’s lovely dad
RSS thepoke.com
  • This comedy take on the invention of curling is every bit as hilariously confusing as the real thing
  • Fox News just started doing Jeffrey Epstein jokes and they didn’t just plumb the depths, they went straight to the Mariana Trench
  • Tommy Robinson’s announced a London march for 16 May and ended up magnificently owned into next year
  • Quentin Tarantino claimed people are only pretending to like Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, and the internet had some frank reviews of his opinion
  • This American’s very specific take on the majesty of Cologne cathedral had Europeans hollering into next week

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